16.  Some persons, from experiencing the bad effects of false modesty, have run into the other extreme, and acquired the character of impudent.  This is as great a fault as the other.  A well-bred man keeps himself within the two, and steers the middle way.  He is easy and firm in every company; is modest, but not bashful; steady, but not impudent.  He copies the manners of the better people, and conforms to their customs with ease and attention.

17.  Till we can present ourselves in all companies with coolness and unconcern, we can never present ourselves well; nor will man ever be supposed to have kept good company, or ever be acceptable in such company, if he cannot appear there easy and unembarrassed.  A modest assurance in every part of life, is the most advantageous qualification we can possibly acquire.

18.  Instead of becoming insolent, a man of sense, under a consciousness of merit, is more modest.  He behaves himself indeed with firmness, but without the least presumption.  The man who is ignorant of his own merit is no less a fool than he who is constantly displaying it.  A man of understanding avails himself of his abilities but never boasts of them; whereas the timid and bashful can never push himself in life, be his merit as great as it will; he will be always kept behind by the forward and the bustling.

19.  A man of abilities, and acquainted with life, will stand as firm in defence of his own rights, and pursue his plans as steadily and unmoved as the most impudent man alive; but then he does it with a seeming modesty.  Thus, manner is every thing; what is impudence in one is proper assurance only in another:  for firmness is commendable, but an overbearing conduct is disgustful.

20.  Forwardness being the very reverse of modesty, follow rather than lead the company; that is, join in discourse upon their subjects rather than start one of your own; if you have parts, you will have opportunities enough of shewing them on every topic of conversation; and if you have none, it is better to expose yourself upon a subject of other people’s, than on one of your own.

21.  But be particularly careful not to speak of yourself if you can help it.  An impudent fellow lugs in himself abruptly upon all occasions, and is ever the here of his own story.  Others will colour their arrogance with, “It may seem strange indeed, that I should talk in this manner of myself; it is what I by no means like, and should never do, if I had not been cruelly and unjustly accused; but when my character is attacked, it is a justice I owe to myself to defend it.”  This veil is too thin not to be seen through on the first inspection.

22.  Others again, with more art, will modestly boast of all the principal virtues, by calling these virtues weaknesses, and saying, they are so unfortunate as to fall into those weaknesses.  “I cannot see persons suffer,” says one of his cast, “without relieving them; though my circumstances are very unable to afford it—­I cannot avoid speaking truth; though it is often very imprudent;” and so on.