The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction eBook

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A man of words and not of deeds,
Is like a garden full of seeds.

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STOLEN GOODS.

A Negro in Jamaica was tried for theft, and ordered to be flogged. He begged to be heard, which being granted, he asked—“If white man buy tolen goods why he be no flogged too?” “Well,” said the judge, “so he would.” “Dere, den,” replied Mungo, “is my Massa, he buy tolen goods, he knew me tolen, and yet he buy me.”—Elgin Courier.

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DECREASE OF LUNACY IN LONDON.

According to the Parliamentary Returns in May, 1819, the total number of lunatics comprised in the circle of London and different private asylums, amounted to 2,005, which Dr. Burrows calculates as proving an increase of only five on an average in twenty years, notwithstanding the increase of our population. The late Dr. Heberden and Dr. Willan both concurred in this statement. The large district of Mary-la-bonne, which some years ago comprehended the greatest proportion of inhabitants in the metropolis, not less than 80,000,—from 1814 to the year 1819 received only 180 female lunatics, and 118 males.

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INGREDIENTS OF MODERN LOVE.

  Twenty glances, twenty tears,
  Twenty hopes, and twenty fears,
  Twenty times assail your door,
  And if denied, come twenty more,
  Twenty letters perfumed sweet,
  Twenty nods in every street,
  Twenty oaths, and twenty lies,
  Twenty smiles, and twenty sighs,
  Twenty times in jealous rage,
  Twenty beauties to engage,
  Twenty tales to whisper low,
  Twenty billet-doux to show,
  Twenty times a day to pass,
  Before a flattering looking-glass,
  Twenty times to stop your coach,
  With twenty words of fond reproach,
  Twenty days of keen vexation,
  Twenty opera assignations,
  Twenty nights behind the scenes,
  To dangle after mimic queens,
  Twenty such lovers may be found,
  Sighing for twenty thousand pounds,
  But take my word, ye girls of sense,
  You’ll find them not worth twenty-pence.

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GREAT AND SMALL.

A shopkeeper at Poncaster had, for his virtues, obtained the name of the little rascal. A stranger asked him why this application was given him? “To distinguish me from the rest of my trade,” quoth he, “who are all great rascals.”

C.F.E.

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