To Mr. Punch’s friends, who think he blundered,
  In thinking Eton’s years were just four hundred,
  And acted quite in error when he paid
  Congratulations to King HENRY’S “shade,”
  A word of explanation now is due,
  To show how what he stated then was true. 
  The word is this—­that fifty years have now
  Elapsed since Mr. Punch first made his bow;
  And though since then with many friends he’s parted,
  Himself he is as young as when he started. 
  Just fifty years ago it now appears
  That fair Etona claimed four hundred years. 
  Ungallant it had been if one had told her
  That Mr. Punch kept young whilst she grew older! 
  Yet if it is indeed the Fourth Centenary
  Or Jubilee the Ninth since holy ’ENERY
  Became the founder of a Royal College—­
  Well, Mr. Punch prefers to have no knowledge. 
  He only does not know—­has never known a
  More worthy toast than “Floreat Etona!”

* * * * *

THE NEW CRUSADERS.

["Kaiser Wilhelm, according to a Berlin Journal, has given his consent to a lottery being instituted throughout the Empire ‘for combating the slave trade in Africa.’  Tickets to the amount of eight millions of marks will be issued, five and a half millions of which will be devoted to prizes.”—­Daily Telegraph Berlin Correspondent.]

  KNIGHTS-ERRANT of earth’s earlier days,
    Might learn from WILHELM KAISER. 
  They risked their lives in Paynim frays,
    We moderns have grown wiser. 
  ’Tis not enough by Big Bazaars
    To buttress Churches tottery;
  We, with the dice “financing” wars,
    Conduct Crusades—­by Lottery!

* * * * *

LIVE AND LEARN.—­Mr. PARKINSON will now probably admit that the foolish process known as “breaking a butterfly on a wheel” may bring the breaker woe.

* * * * *

SHAKSPEARE AND NORTH, NOT CHRISTOPHER.

[Illustration:  C-l-n-l N-rth as Falstaff.  L-rd C-l-r-dge as Lord Chief Justice.  Henry the Fourth, Part II., Act ii., Sc.]

Colonel NORTH is popularly supposed to have been the architect of his own fortune, but he doesn’t seem to have profited much by his architectural knowledge when applied to house-building.  The burly Colonel—­we forget at this moment what regiment is under his distinguished command—­has met many a great personage in his time, but, like the eminent barbarian who encountered a Christian Archbishop for the first time—­St. Ambrose, we rather think it was, but no matter—­our bold Colonel had to climb down a bit on coming face to face with the Lord Chief Justice of England.  What a cast for a scene out of Henry the Fourth!  Falstaff, Colonel NORTH, and My Lord COLERIDGE for the Lord Chief Justice.  The scene might be Part II., Act ii., Scene 1, when the Lord Chief