“They are greatly to be commended,” said Gnarmag-Zote, rising to intimate that the conversation was at an end.  I respectfully protruded my tongue while he withdrew into his palace, spitting politely and with unusual copiousness in acknowledgment.  A few minutes later, but before I had left the spot, two lackeys in livery emerged from the door by which he had entered, and while one shouldered the body of the old man and carried it into the palace kitchen the other informed me that his Highness was graciously pleased to desire my company at dinner that evening.  With many expressions of regret I declined the invitation, unaware that to do so was treason.  With the circumstances of my escape to the island of Tamtonia the newspapers have made the world already familiar.

THE TAMTONIANS

In all my intercourse with the Tamtonians I was treated with the most distinguished consideration and no obstacles to a perfect understanding of their social and political life were thrown in my way.  My enforced residence on the island was, however, too brief to enable me to master the whole subject as I should have liked to do.

The government of Tamtonia is what is known in the language of the island as a gilbuper.  It differs radically from any form known in other parts of the world and is supposed to have been invented by an ancient chief of the race, named Natas, who was for many centuries after his death worshiped as a god, and whose memory is still held in veneration.  The government is of infinite complexity, its various functions distributed among as many officers as possible, multiplication of places being regarded as of the greatest importance, and not so much a means as an end.  The Tamtonians seem to think that the highest good to which a human being can attain is the possession of an office; and in order that as many as possible may enjoy that advantage they have as many offices as the country will support, and make the tenure brief and in no way dependent on good conduct and intelligent administration of official duty.  In truth, it occurs usually that a man is turned out of his office (in favor of an incompetent successor) before he has acquired sufficient experience to perform his duties with credit to himself or profit to the country.  Owing to this incredible folly, the affairs of the island are badly mismanaged.  Complaints are the rule, even from those who have had their way in the choice of officers.  Of course there can be no such thing as a knowledge of the science of government among such a people, for it is to nobody’s interest to acquire it by study of political history.  There is, indeed, a prevalent belief that nothing worth knowing is to be learned from the history of other nations—­not even from the history of their errors—­such is this extraordinary people’s national vanity!  One of the most notable consequences of this universal and voluntary ignorance is that Tamtonia is the home of all the discreditable political and fiscal heresies from which many other nations, and especially our own, emancipated themselves centuries ago.  They are there in vigorous growth and full flower, and believed to be of purely Tamtonian origin.