First O.L. Maria always was peculiar—­still, now I come to look, it’s more like “brother,” which is certainly much more suitable. (Continuing.) “She will have no—­no bird’s-marks ...” (Now, what does that—­should you think that meant “crows-feet”?  Oh, no, how stupid of me—­bridesmaids, of course!)—­“and will go to the otter a plain guy”—­(Oh, Caroline really is too....)—­“to the altar in plain grey!  She has been given such quantities of pea-nuts”—­(very odd things to give a girl!  Oh, presents! um, um)—­“Not settled yet where to go for their hangman”—­(the officiating clergyman, I suppose—­very flippant way of putting it, I must say!  It’s meant for honeymoon, though, I see, to be sure!) &c., &c.

Culch. I should like to be at Nuremberg with you.  It would be an unspeakable delight to watch the expansion of a fresh young soul in that rich mediaeval atmosphere!

Miss T. I guess you’ll have opportunities of watching Mr. PODBURY’s fresh young soul under those conditions, any way.

Culch. It would not be at all the same thing—­even if he—­but you do think you’re coming to Nuremberg, don’t you?

Miss T. Well, it’s this way.  Poppa don’t want to get fooling around any more one-horse towns than he can help, and he’s got to be fixed up with the idea that Nuremberg is a prominent European sight before he drops everything to get there.

Culch. I will undertake to interest him in Nuremberg.  Fortunately, we are all getting off at Bingen, and going, curiously enough, to the same hotel. (To himself.) Confound that fellow PODBURY, here he is again!

Podb. (to himself, as he advances).  If she’s carrying on with that fellow, CULCHARD, to provoke me, I’ll soon show her how little I—­(Aloud.) I say, old man, hope I’m not interrupting you, but I just want to speak to you for a minute, if Miss TROTTER will excuse us.  Is there any particular point in going as far as Bingen to-night, eh?

Culch. (resignedly).  As much as there is in not going farther than somewhere else, I should have thought.

Podb. Well, but look here—­why not stop at Bacharach, and see what sort of a place it is?

Culch. You forget that our time is limited if we’re going to stick to our original route.

Podb. Yes, of course; mustn’t waste any on the Rhine.  Suppose we push on to Maintz to-night, and get the Rhine off our hands then? (With a glance at Miss TROTTER.) The sooner I’ve done with this steamer business the better!

Miss T. Well, Mr. PODBURY, that’s not a vurry complimentary remark to make before me!

Podb. We’ve seen so little of one another lately that it can hardly make much difference—­to either of us—­can it?