Mr. T. I don’t know as I’m as much struck by this Waterloo field as I expected, Sir.  As an Amurrcan, I find it doesn’t come up to some of our battlefields in the War.  We don’t blow about those battlefields, Sir, but for style and general picturesqueness, I ain’t seen nothing this side to equal them.  You ever been over?  You want to come over and see our country—­that’s what you want to do.  You mustn’t mind me a-running on, but when I meet someone as I can converse with in my own language—­well, I just about talk myself dry.

    [He talks himself dry, until rejoined by the Guide with
    PODBURY and Miss TROTTER.

Guide (to PODBURY).  Leesten, I dell you.  My vader—­eighteen, no in ze Airmi, laboreur man—­he see NAPOLEON standt in a saircle; officers roundt ’im.  Boots, op to hier; green cott; vite vaiscott; vite laigs—­

Podbury.  Your father’s legs?

Guide.  No, Sare; my vader see NAPOLEON’s laigs; leedle ’at, qvite plain; no faither—­nossing.

Podbury.  But you just said you had a faither!

Guide.  I say, NAPOLEON ’ad no faither—­vat you call it?—­plume—­in ’is ’at, at ze bataille.

Podbury.  Are you sure?  I thought the history books said he “stuck a feather in his hat, and called it Macaroni.”

Miss T. I presume you’re thinking of our National Amurrcan character, Yankee Doodle?

Guide.  My vader, ’e no see NAPOLEON viz a Yankedoodle in ’is ’at; ’e vear nossing.

Podbury.  Nothing?  What became of the green coat and white waistcoat, then, eh?

Guide.  Ah, you unnerstan’ nossing at all!  Leesten, I dell you vonce more.  My vader—­

Podbury.  No, look here, my friend; you go and tell that gentleman all about it (indicating CULCHARD); he’s very interested in hearing what NAPOLEON wore or didn’t wear.

    [The Guide takes possession of CULCHARD once more,
    who submits, under the impression that Miss TROTTER is a
    fellow-sufferer.

Guide (concluding a vivid account of the fight at Houguymont).  Bot ven zey com qvite nearer, zey vind ze rade line no ze Inglis soldiers—­nossing bot a breek vall, viz ze moskets—­’Prown Pesses,’ you coal dem—­shdeekin out of ze ’oles!  Ze ’oles schdill dere.  Dat vas Houguymont, in the orshairde.  Now you com viz me and see ze lion.  Ze dail, two piece; ze bodi, von piece; ze ball, von piece.  I sank you, Sare.  ’Ope you com again soon.

    [CULCHARD discovers that the TROTTERS and PODBURY have
    gone down some time ago.  At the foot of the steps he finds his
    friend waiting for him, alone.

Culch. (with stiff politeness).  Sorry you considered it necessary to stay behind on my account.  I see your American friends have already started for the station.