he acshally arsked me to interdooce him to the Lord MARE, as he wanted a few tickets for hisself and frends!  And when I told him as that coudn’t be manidged, he arsked where he coud buy a few, as he supposed as money coud buy anythink, and praps he wasn’t so werry rong arter all.  He had two or three Amerrycan frends to dinner the other day, and didn’t they jest tork away.  One of ’em arsked me if I didn’t think as it was shamefoolly xtravagant to give the Lord MARE of our little City jest the same salary for governing his one little square mile, as they in Amerrykey gave their Presedent for governing their hole country, altho it was about thirty times larger than ours.  To which I boldly replied most suttenly not, becoz I had herd as there was lots of Presedents in the World, but ony one Lord MARE of London, to which my frend shouted out, “Bravo, ROBERT, that’s one to you!”

Amost all their tork was about what they calls their “World’s Show,” as is to be held at Chickargo, I thinks they called it, the year after next, and what they have naterally come here for, is to arrange for the Lord MARE and his too Sherryffs, with their State Carridges, and state Footmen, and state Robes, to go over and show ’em how to open it!  And the funniest one of the lot acshally said as I must go with ’em, for the World’s Show woud not be a perfect show without they had in it the most horiginal specimen of a reel London Hed Waiter to show to their 50 million peeple!  And I am to have the werry biggest tip as ever a Hed Waiter had.  And I’m quite sure as they meant it all, for they larfed all the while as they torked about it.

This same one had a Ticket for Guildhall the hother heavening, when about four thowsand gests was there, and jolly fun he says it was, for they all seemed to begin a drinking of werry good Shampane about Nine a Clock, and kep on at it for above three hours, for there wasn’t not nothink else for ’em to do, and so they did that, and did it well.

He arsked me if I coud remember what outlandish names the principal gests was all called, and when I told him I thort they was HIGH-GIN and DEMMY-GROGGY, they all roared again, and shouted out, “that’s another to you ROBERT; go ahead, my tulip!” Tho what they meant I’m sure I don’t kno.

Our gentlemanly Manager looked in to see how they was a getting on, and when they told him what they called my last joke, ewen he larfed away like the best on ’em.  The fust time I gets a chance I’ll ask him to explain it all to me.

What seemed to have struck the Amerrycan most, was what he described as the twelve most bewtifool Angels, all most bewtifoolly drest, in most bewtifool close, a playing most bewtifool toons on most bewtifool Arps! which he said reminded him more of Heaven than anythink he had ever seen or heard.  He arsked me the name of the bewtifool hair as they played three times, and when I told him as I believed as it was a Welsh wun, and was called “The March of the Men of Garlick,” he wonderd how men with such bad taste could have written such sweet music.