[Sidenote:  Politeness to Children]

The truth is, too many parents forget to speak these agreeable words whenever they ask favors of their own children; so the force of their example is marred.  What you do to the child himself, remember, always outweighs anything you do to others before him.  This is the reason why it is necessary that you should acknowledge your own shortcomings to the child, if you expect him to acknowledge his to you.  It is also necessary sometimes to point out clearly the kind and considerate things that you are in the habit of doing to others, lest the untrained mind of the young child may fail to see and so miss the force of your example.

But in thus revealing your own good deeds to the child, remember the motive, and reveal them only (a) when he cannot perceive them of himself, (b) when he needs to perceive them in order that his own conduct may be influenced by them, and (c) at the time when he is most likely to appreciate them.  This latter requirement precludes you from announcing your own righteousness when he is naughty, and compels you, of course, to go directly against your native impulse, which is to mention your deeds of sacrifice and kindness only when you are angry and mean to reproach him with them.  When you tell him how devoted you have been at some moment when you are both thoroughly angry, he is in danger of either denying or hating your devotion; but when you refer to it tenderly, and, as your heart will then prompt you, modestly, at some loving moment, he will give it recognition, and be moved to love goodness more devotedly because you embody it.

[Sidenote:  Law-Making Habit]

Another important rule is this:  Do not make too many rules.  Some women are like legislatures in perpetual session.  The child who is confused and tantalized by the constant succession of new laws learns presently to disregard them, and to regulate his life according to certain deductions of his own—­sometimes surprisingly wise and politic deductions.  The way to re yourself of this law-making habit is to stop thinking of every little misdeed as the beginning of a great wrong.  It is very likely an accident and a combination of circumstances such as may not happen again.  To treat misdemeanors which are not habitual nor characteristic as evanescent is the best way to make them evanescent.  They should not be allowed to enter too deeply into your consciousness or into that of your child.

[Sidenote:  Live with Your Children]

In order to be able to discriminate between accidental wrong-doing, and that which is the first symptom of wrong-thinking, you must be in close touch with your children.  This brings us to Froebel’s great motto, “Come, let us live with our children!” This means that you are not merely to talk with your child, to hear from his lips what he is doing, but to live so closely with him, that in most cases you know what he is doing without any need of his telling