If you do not expect him to interrupt you, you must not interrupt him.  If you expect him to let you alone when you are busy, you must let hint alone when he is busy, that is, when he is hard at work playing.  If you must call him away from his playing, give him warning, so that he may have time to put his small affairs in order before obeying your command.  The more carefully you do this the more willing will be his response on the infrequent occasions when you must demand immediate attention.  In some such fashion you teach the child to respect the rights of others by scrupulously respecting those rights to which he is most alive, namely, his own.  The next step is to require him with you to think out the rights of others, and both of you together should shape your conduct so as to leave these rights unfringed.

[Sidenote:  The Child’s Share in Ruling]

As soon as the young child’s will has fully taken possession of his own organism he will inevitably try to rule yours.  The establishment of the law of which I have just spoken will go far toward regulating this new-born desire.  But still he must be allowed in some degree to rule others, because power to rule others is likely to be at some time during his life of great importance to him.  To thwart him absolutely in this respect, never yielding yourself to his imperious demands, is alike impossible and undesirable.  His will must not be shut up to himself and to the things that he can make himself do.  In various ways, with due consideration for other people’s feelings, with courtesy, with modesty, he may well be encouraged to do his share of ruling.  And while, of course, he will not begin his ruling in such restrained and thoughtful fashion as is implied by these limitations, yet he must be suffered to begin; and the rule for the respect of the rights of others should be suffered gradually to work out these modifications.

A safe distinction may be made as follows:  Permit him, since he is so helpless, to rule and persuade others to satisfy his legitimate desires, such as the desire for food, sleep, affection, and knowledge; but when be demands indulgencies, reserve your own liberty of choice, so as to clearly demonstrate to him that you are exercising choice, and in doing so, are well within your own rights.

[Sidenote:  Low Voice Commands]

There is one simple outward observation which greatly assists us the inculcation of these fundamental truths—­that is the habit of using a low voice in speaking, especially when issuing a command or administering a rebuke.  A loud, insistent voice practically insures rebellion.  This is because the low voice means that you have command of yourself, the loud voice that you have lost it.  The child submits to a controlled will, but not to one as uncontrolled as his own.  In both cases he follows your example.  If you are self-controlled, he tends to become so; if you are excited and angry, he also becomes so, or if he is already so, his excitement and anger increases.