[Sidenote:  Negative Goodness]

Suppose the child to be brought to such a stage that he is willing to do anything his father or mother says; suppose, even, that they never tell him to do anything that he does not afterwards discover to be reasonable and just; still, what has he gained?  For twenty years he has not had the responsibility for a single action, for a single decision, right or wrong.  What is permitted is right to him; what is forbidden is wrong.  When he goes out into the world without his parents, what will happen?  At the best he will not lie, or steal, or commit murder.  That is, he will do none of these things in their bald and simple form.

But in their beginnings these are hidden under a mask of virtue and he has never been trained to look beneath that mask; as happened to Richard Feveril,[D] sin may spring upon him unaware.  Some one else, all his life, has labeled things for him; he is not in the habit of judging for himself.  He is blind, deaf, and helpless—­a plaything of circumstances.  It is a chance whether he falls into sin or remains blameless.

[Sidenote:  Real Disobedience]

Disobedience, then, in a true sense, does not mean failure to do as he is told to do.  It means failure to do the things that he knows to be right.  He must be taught to listen and obey the voice of his own conscience; and if that voice should ever speak, as it sometimes does, differently from the voice of the conscience of his parents or teachers, its dictates must still be respected by these older and wiser persons, and he must be permitted to do this thing which in itself may be foolish, but which is not foolish, to him.

[Sidenote:  Liberty]

And, on the other hand, the child who will have his own way even when he knows it to be wrong should be allowed to have it within reasonable limits.  Richter says, leave to him the sorry victory, only exercising sufficient ingenuity to make sure that it is a sorry one.  What he must be taught is that it is not at all a pleasure to have his own way, unless his own way happens to be right; and this he can only be taught by having his own way when the results are plainly disastrous.  Every time that a willful child does what he wants to do, and suffers sharply for it, he learns a lesson that nothing but this experience can teach him.

[Sidenote:  Self-Punishment]

But his suffering must be plainly seen to be the result of his deed, and not the result of his mother’s anger.  For example, a very young child who is determined to play with fire may be allowed to touch the hot lamp or a stove, whenever affairs can be so arranged that he is not likely to burn himself too severely.  One such lesson is worth all the hand-spattings and cries of “No, no!” ever resorted to by anxious parents.  If he pulls down the blocks that you have built up for him, they should stay down, while you get out of the room, if possible, in order to evade all responsibility for that unpleasant result.