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THE STOLEN PICTURES.—­The Débats informed us, last week, that the thief who stole TENIERS’ pictures from the Museum at Rennes has been discovered.  His punishment should “fit the crime,” as Mr. GILBERT’s Mikado used to say, and therefore he ought to be sentenced to penal servitude for Ten years.

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[Illustration:  THE PERSONAL EQUATION.

Dick (who hasn’t sold a single Picture this year).  “AND AS FOR THE BEASTLY BRITISH PUBLIC, NOTHING REALLY GOOD EVER GOES DOWN WITH IT—­NOTHING BUT VULGAR ROT!”

Tom (who has sold every Picture he has painted).  “OH, BOSH AND GAMMON, MY DEAR FELLOW.  GOOD HONEST WORK IS ALWAYS SURE OF ITS MARKET—­AND ITS PRICE!”

[Next year their luck will be reversed, and also their opinions of the B.P.]

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LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE’S DIARY.

Wednesday, June 11th.—­Left Billsbury last Saturday, having in DICKY DIKES’s words “broken the back of the blooming canvas.”  During my last night’s round we went into a small house in one of the slums.  The husband was out, but the wife and family were all gathered together in the back room.  There were five children, ranging in age from ten down to two, and the mother looked the very picture of slatternly discomfort.  We asked the usual questions, and I was just turning to go, when I heard a violent fit of convulsive coughing from a dark corner.  The mother got up and went to the corner.  I couldn’t help following, and saw the most miserable spectacle I ever set eyes on.  In a sort of cradle was lying the smallest, frailest and most absolutely pinched and colourless baby choking with every cough, and gasping horribly for breath.  I don’t know what I said, but the mother turned to DIKES and said, “He haven’t much longer to cough.  I shall want the undertakers for him soon.”  I asked her if nothing could be done, but she merely replied, “It’ll be better so.  We’ve too many mouths to feed without him.”  I couldn’t stay longer after that, but fairly bolted out of the house.

Our people are jubilant about our prospects.  The canvas shows, they say, a steady increase in our favour, the registrations have been uniformly good, and, best of all, Sir THOMAS CHUBSON again voted and spoke on the wrong side, when the Billsbury Main Drainage Bill came on for Second Reading in the House the other day.  Our point is of course that, if this scheme were carried out, there would be a great deal of work for Billsbury labourers, and, somehow or other, a large amount of money would be spent in the town.  We have rubbed this well in at every meeting we have held lately, and found it a most effective point during the canvas.  CHUBSON and the Radicals talk about a great increase of the rates which would follow on it; but we pooh-pooh this, and point out that the ultimate saving would be enormous, and that the health of the town must be benefited.  They don’t like the business at all, and feel they’ve made a mistake.