A Spaniard rising from a fall, whereby his nose had suffered considerably, exclaimed, “Voto, a tal, esto es caminar por la turru!” (This comes of walking upon earth!)

WITTY COWARD
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

A French marquis having received several blows with a stick, which he never thought of resenting, a friend asked him, “How he could reconcile it with his honour to suffer them to pass without notice?” “Poh!” replied the marquis, “I never trouble my head with anything that passes behind my back.”

VALUING BEAUTY
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

The Persian Ambassador, Mirza Aboul Hassan, while he resided in Paris was an object of so much curiosity that he could not go out without being surrounded by a multitude of gazers, and the ladies even ventured so far as to penetrate his hotel.

On returning one day from a ride, he found his apartments crowded with ladies, all elegantly dressed, but not all equally beautiful.  Astonished at this unexpected assemblage, he inquired what these European odalisques could possibly want with him.  The interpreter replied that they had come to look at his Excellency.  The Ambassador was surprised to find himself an object of curiosity among a people who boast of having attained the acme of civilisation; and was not a little offended at conduct which, in Asia, would have been considered an unwarrantable breach of good-breeding; he accordingly revenged himself by the following little scheme.

The illustrious foreigner affected to be charmed with the ladies; he looked at them attentively alternately, pointing to them with his finger, and speaking with great earnestness to his interpreter, who, he was well aware, would be questioned by his fair visitants; and whom he therefore instructed in the part he was to act.  Accordingly, the eldest of the ladies, who, in spite of her age, probably thought herself the prettiest of the whole party, and whose curiosity was particularly excited, after his Excellency had passed through the suite of rooms, coolly inquired what had been the object of his examination?  “Madam,” replied the interpreter, “I dare not inform you.”  “But I wish particularly to know, sir.”  “Indeed, madam, it is impossible!” “Nay, sir, this reserve is vexatious; I desire to know.”  “Oh! since you desire, madam, know then that his Excellency has been valuing you!” “Valuing us! how, sir?” “Yes, ladies, his Excellency, after the custom of his country, has been setting a price upon each of you!” “Well, that’s whimsical enough; and how much may that lady be worth, according to his estimation?” “A thousand crowns.”  “And the other?” “Five hundred crowns.”  “And that young lady with fair hair?” “The same price.”  “And that lady who is painted?” “Fifty crowns.”  “And pray, sir, what may I be worth in the tariff of his Excellency’s good graces?” “Oh, madam, you really must excuse me, I beg.”  “Come, come, no concealments.”  “The Prince merely said as he passed you—­” “Well, what did he say?” inquired the lady with great eagerness.  “He said, madam, that he did not know the small coin of this country.”