A fortune-teller was arrested at his theatre of divination, al fresco, at the corner of the rue de Bussy in Paris, and carried before the tribunal of correctional police.  “You know to read the future?” said the president, a man of great wit, but too fond of a joke for a magistrate.  “In this case,” said the judge, “you know the judgment we intend to pronounce.”  “Certainly.”  “Well, what will happen to you?” “Nothing.”  “You are sure of it?” “You will acquit me.”  “Acquit you!” “There is no doubt of it.”  “Why?” “Because, sir, if it had been your intention to condemn me, you would not have added irony to misfortune.”  The president, disconcerted, turned to his brother judges, and the sorcerer was acquitted.

GASCONADES
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

A Gascon, passing one night through a churchyard, thought he saw a spectre drawing forth his sword.  He called out aloud, “Aha! do you want to be killed a second time?  I am your man.”

Another hero of the same country used to say that he could not look into a mirror without being afraid of himself.

When Robespierre had been guillotined at Paris, a Gascon officer in the French army thus expressed the dread he had entertained of that tyrant:  “As often as the name of Robespierre was mentioned to me, I used to take off my hat, in order to see if my head was in it.”

TRIBUTE TO BEAUTY
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

As the late beautiful Duchess of Devonshire was one day stepping out of her carriage, a dustman, who was accidentally standing by, and was about to regale himself with his accustomed whiff of tobacco, caught a glance of her countenance, and instantly exclaimed, “Love and bless you, my lady, let me light my pipe in your eyes!” It is said the duchess was so delighted with this compliment that she frequently afterwards checked the strain of adulation, which was so constantly offered to her charms, by saying, “Oh! after the dustman’s compliment, all others are insipid.”

BEGGING QUARTER
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

A French regiment at the battle of Spires had orders to give no quarter.  A German officer, being taken, begged his life.  The Frenchman replied, “Sir, you may ask me for any other favour; but, as for your life, it is impossible for me to grant it.”

GASCON REPROVED
[Sidenote:  Percy Anecdotes]

A descendant of a family in Gascony, celebrated for its flow of language and love of talking, and not for any deeds of glory, descanted before a numerous company upon the well-known bravery of his ancestors and relations.  He then, to show that the race had not degenerated, modestly launched into a faithful description of his own battles, duels, and successes.  He was once, he said, a passenger on board a French frigate during the war, and, falling in with an English squadron composed of three seventy-fours, fought with them for five hours, when luckily, the ship taking fire, he was blown up, with ten of his countrymen, and dropped into one of the seventy-fours, the crew of which laid down their arms and surrendered; while the two remaining men-of-war, struck with dismay at the sight of one of their ships in the possession of the enemy, crowded sails and ran away!