A YOUNG LADY’S “NEEDS” [Sidenote:  Samuel Johnson]

“During a visit of Miss Brown’s to Streatham, Dr. Johnson was inquiring of her several things that she could not answer; and, as he held her so cheap in regard to books, he began to question her concerning domestic affairs,—­puddings, pies, plain work, and so forth.  Miss Brown, not at all more able to give a good account of herself in these articles than in the others, began all her answers with ’Why, sir, one need not be obliged to do so,—­or so,’ whatever was the thing in question.  When he had finished his interrogatories, and she had finished her ‘need nots,’ he ended the discourse with saying, ’As to your needs, my dear, they are so very many that you would be frightened yourself if you knew half of them.’”

“IRENE” [Sidenote:  Samuel Johnson]

“I was told,” wrote Sir Walter Scott, “that a gentleman called Pot, or some such name, was introduced to Johnson as a particular admirer of his.  The doctor growled and took no further notice.  “He admires in especial your Irene as the finest tragedy of modern times;” to which the Doctor replied:  “If Pot says so, Pot Lies!” and relapsed into his reverie.

ODE TO PEACE
[Sidenote:  Hood]

WRITTEN ON THE NIGHT OF MY MISTRESS’S GRAND ROUT

  O Peace! oh come with me and dwell—­
    But stop, for there’s the bell. 
  O peace! for thee I go and sit in churches,
    On Wednesday, when there’s very few
      In loft or pew—­
  Another ring, the tarts are come from Birch’s. 
  O Peace! for thee I have avoided marriage—­
      Hush! there’s a carriage. 
  O Peace! thou art the best of earthly goods—­
      The five Miss Woods. 
  O Peace! thou art the goddess I adore—­
      There come some more. 
  O Peace! thou child of solitude and quiet—­
  That’s Lord Drum’s footman, for he loves a riot.

            O Peace!—­
      Knocks will not cease. 
  O Peace! thou wert for human comfort planned—­
      That’s Weippert’s band. 
  O Peace! how glad I welcome thy approaches—­
      I hear the sound of coaches. 
  O Peace!  O Peace!—­another carriage stops—­
      It’s early for the Blenkinsops.

O Peace! with thee I love to wander,
But wait till I have showed up Lady Squander;
And now I’ve seen her up the stair,
O Peace!—­but here comes Captain Hare. 
O Peace! thou art the slumber of the mind,
Untroubled, calm, and quiet, and unbroken—­
If that is Alderman Guzzle from Portsoken,
Alderman Gobble won’t be far behind. 
O Peace! serene in worldly shyness—­
Make way there for his Serene Highness!

  O Peace! if you do not disdain
  To dwell amongst the menial train,
  I have a silent place, and lone,
  That you and I may call our own,
  Where tumult never makes an entry—­
  Susan, what business have you in my pantry?