The Bed-Book of Happiness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 422 pages of information about The Bed-Book of Happiness.

The Bed-Book of Happiness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 422 pages of information about The Bed-Book of Happiness.
was the name of the pup—­Andrew Jackson would never let on but what he was satisfied, and hadn’t expected nothing else—­and the bets being doubled and doubled on the other side all the time, till the money was all up; and then all of a sudden he would grab that other dog jest by the j’int of his hind leg and freeze to it—­not chaw, you understand, but only jest grip and hang on till they throwed up the sponge, if it was a year.  Smiley always come out winner on that pup, till he harnessed a dog once that didn’t have no hind legs, because they’d been saw’d off by a circular saw, and when the thing had gone along far enough, and the money was all up, and he come to make a snatch for his pet holt, he saw in a minute how he’d been imposed on, and how the other dog had him in the door, so to speak, and he ’peared surprised, and then he looked sorter discouraged-like, and didn’t try no more to win the fight, and so he got shucked out bad.  He gave Smiley a look, as much as to say his heart was broke, and it was his fault, for putting up a dog that hadn’t no hind legs for him to take holt of, which was his main dependence in a fight, and then he limped off a piece and laid down and died.  It was a good pup, was that Andrew Jackson, and would have made a name for hisself if he’d lived, for the stuff was in him, and he had genius—­I know it, because he hadn’t had no opportunities to speak of, and it don’t stand to reason that a dog could make such a fight as he could under them circumstances, if he hadn’t no talent.  It always makes me feel sorry when I think of that last fight of his’n, and the way it turned out.

Well, thish-yer Smiley had rat-tarriers, and chicken-cocks, and tom-cats, and all them kind of things, till you couldn’t rest, and you couldn’t fetch nothing for him to bet on but he’d match you.  He ketched a frog one day, and took him home, and said he cal’klated to edercate him; and so he never done nothing for three months but set in his back yard and learn that frog to jump.  And you bet you he did learn him, too?  He’d give him a little punch behind, and the next minute you’d see that frog whirling in the air like a doughnut—­see him turn one summerset, or maybe a couple, if he got a good start, and came down flat-footed and all right, like a cat.  He got him up so in the matter of catching flies, and kept him in practice so constant, that he’d nail a fly every time as far as he could see him.  Smiley said all a frog wanted was education, and he could do most anything—­and I believe him.  Why, I’ve seen him set Dan’l Webster down here on this floor—­Dan’l Webster was the name of the frog—­and sing out, “Flies, Dan’l, flies!” and quicker’n you could wink, he’d spring straight up, and snake a fly off’n the counter there, and flop down on the floor again as solid as a gob of mud, and fall to scratching the side of his head with his hind foot as indifferent as if he hadn’t no idea he’d been doin’ any mor’n any frog might do. 

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Project Gutenberg
The Bed-Book of Happiness from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.