13.  MARRYING FOR A HOME.—­Do not, however, marry for a home merely, unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without one; for, it is on the same footing with “marrying for money.”  Marry a man for his merit; and you take no chances.

14.  MARRY TO PLEASE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF.—­Marriage is a matter exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences.  No person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or dictate in this matter.  I never knew a marriage, made to please another, to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily.

15.  DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE YOUR PARENTS.  Parents can not love for their children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die and go to heaven for them.  They may give wholesome advice merely, but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the parties themselves, who mainly are to experience the consequences of their choice.  Besides, such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or to speak against the person beloved, only increases their desire and determination to marry.

16.  RUN-AWAY MATCHES.—­Many a run-away match would never have taken place but for opposition or interference.  Parents are mostly to be blamed for these elopements.  Their children marry partly out of sprite and to be contrary.  Their very natures tell them that this interference is unjust—­as it really is—­and this excites combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in combination with the social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance—­which turmoil of the faculties hastens the match.  Let the affections of a daughter be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the “old folks” start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize.  If she did not love you before, she will now, that you are persecuted.

17.  DISINHERITANCE.—­Never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a child for marrying against your will.  If you wish a daughter not to marry a certain man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so also in reference to a son.

18.  PROPER TRAINING.—­The secret is, however, all in a nutshell.  Let the father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first love-letter to him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable affection, and to nip an improper one in the germ, before it has time to do any harm.

19.  THE FATAL MISTAKES OF PARENTS.—­There is, however one way of effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should marry.  How cruel as well at unjust to allow a daughter to associate with a young man till the affections of both are riveted, and then forbid her marrying him.  Forbid all association, or consent cheerfully to the marriage.