13.  THE RIGHT PRINCIPLE.—­I say then, with emphasis, that no man should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his selection, not even to aid him in making that choice.  He should first make his selection intellectually, and love afterward.  He should go about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake any other important matter.  No man or woman, when blinded by love, is in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires, or who is adapted to his or her wants.

14.  CHOOSING FIRST AND LOVING AFTERWARDS.—­I know, indeed, that this doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its correctness, I appeal to the common-sense—­not to the experience, for so few try this plan.  Is not this the only proper method, and the one most likely to result happily?  Try it.

15.  THE YOUNG WOMAN’S CAUTION.—­And, especially, let no young lady ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not be broken off—­that is, until the match is fully agreed upon, but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life.  This requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are stronger than his.

16.  A BURNT CHILD DREADS THE FIRE.—­As a “burnt child dreads the fire,” and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread:  so your affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and distrust all mankind.  No! you cannot be too choice of your love—­that pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness.

[Illustration:  AFTER THE ENGAGEMENT.]

* * * * *

LOVE-SPATS.

  Could ever hear by tale or history,
  The course of true love never did run smooth. 
  —­SHAKESPEARE.

  “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
  Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”—­CONGREVE.

“Thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation; then why not Love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do?”

“They are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences cannot be helped.  The more two love, the more they are aggrieved by each other’s faults; of which these spats are but the correction.”

“Love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors.  Sexual storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising the opposite virtues.  Every view of them, practical and philosophical, condemns them as being to love what poison is to health, both before and after marriage.  They are nothing but married discords.  Every law of mind and love condemns them.  Shun them as you would deadly vipers, and prevent them by forestallment.”—­O.S.  Fowler.