7.  THE BEST SCHOOL OF POLITENESS.—­The first and best school of politeness, as of character, is always the home, where woman is the teacher.  The manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our collective homes, neither better nor worse.  Yet, with all the disadvantages of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect, and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior towards others.  Most men are like so many gems in the rough, which need polishing by contact with other and better natures, to bring out their full beauty and lustre.  Some have but one side polished, sufficient only to show the delicate graining of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the gem, needs the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples of character in the intercourse of daily life.

8.  CAPTIOUSNESS OF MANNER.—­While captiousness of manner, and the habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and repulsive, the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing with, every statement made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally disagreeable.  It is unmanly, and is felt to be dishonest.  “It may seem difficult,” says Richard Sharp, “to steer always between bluntness and plain dealing, between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate flattery; but it is very easy—­good humor, kindheartedness, and perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do what is right in the right way.  At the same time many are impolite, not because they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps know no better.”

9.  SHY PEOPLE.—­Again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, and proud, when they are only shy.  Shyness is characteristic of most people of the Teutonic race.  From all that can be learned of Shakespeare, it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man.  The manner in which his plays were sent into the world—­for it is not known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one of them,—­and the dates at which they respectively appeared, are mere matters of conjecture.

10.  SELF-FORGETFULNESS.—­True politeness is best evinced by self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others.  Mr. Garfield, our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type.  His friend, Col.  Rockwell, says of him:  “In, the midst of his suffering he never forgets others.  For instance, to-day he said to me, ’Rockwell, there is a poor soldier’s widow who came to me before this thing occurred, and I promised her, she should be provided for.  I want you to see that the matter is attended to at once.’  He is the most docile patient I ever saw.”