That this can now be done we have to thank the well-known inventor of the telephone. (I forget his name.) The telephone has revolutionized the stage; with its aid you can convey anything you like across the footlights.  In the old badly-made play it was frequently necessary for one of the characters to take the audience into his confidence.  “Having disposed of my uncle’s body,” he would say to the stout lady in the third row of the stalls, “I now have leisure in which to search for the will.  But first to lock the door lest I should be interrupted by Harold Wotnott.”  In the modern well-constructed play he simply rings up an imaginary confederate and tells him what he is going to do.  Could anything be more natural?

Let us, to give an example of how this method works, go back again to the play we have been discussing.

Enter Hamlet. He walks quickly across the room to the telephone, and takes up the receiver impatiently.

Ham.  Hallo!  Hallo!  I want double-nine—­hal-lo!  I want double-nine two—­hal-lo!  Double-nine two three, Elsinore....  Double-nine, yes....  Hallo, is that you, Horatio?  Hamlet speaking.  I say, I’ve been wondering about this business.  To be or not to be, that is the question; whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows—­What?  No, Hamlet speaking. What?  Aren’t you Horatio?  I want double-nine two three—­sorry....  Is that you, Exchange?  You gave me double-five, I want double-nine....  Hallo, is that you, Horatio?  Hamlet speaking.  I’ve been wondering about this business.  To be or not to be, that is the—­What?  No, I said, To be or not to be....  No, “be”—­b-e.  Yes, that’s right.  To be or not to be, that is the question; whether ’tis nobler—­

And so on.  You see how effective it is.

But there is still another way of avoiding the soliloquy, which is sometimes used with good results.  It is to let Hamlet, if that happen to be the name of your character, enter with a small dog, pet falcon, mongoose, tame bear or whatever animal is most in keeping with the part, and confide in this animal such sorrows, hopes or secret history as the audience has got to know.  This has the additional advantage of putting the audience immediately in sympathy with your hero.  “How sweet of him,” all the ladies say, “to tell his little bantam about it!”

If you are not yet tired (as I am) of the Prince of Denmark, I will explain (for the last time) how a modern author might re-write his speech.

Enter Hamlet with his favourite boar-hound.

Ham. (to B.-H.).  To be or not to be—­ah, Fido, Fido!  That is the question—­eh, old Fido, boy?  Whether ’tis nobler in—­how now, a rat!  Rats, Fido, fetch ’em—­in the mind to suffer the slings and—­down, Sir!—­arrows—­put it down!  Arrows of—­drop it, Fido; good old dog—­