was wearing away. ‘Well? how is she?’
‘Oh, all right, all right!’ All right,
indeed! My mind was failing me. Well, I
was sitting one night alone again by my patient.
The maid was sitting there too, and snoring away in
full swing; I can’t find fault with the poor
girl, though; she was worn out too. Aleksandra
Andreyevna had felt very unwell all the evening; she
was very feverish. Until midnight she kept tossing
about; at last she seemed to fall asleep; at least,
she lay still without stirring. The lamp was
burning in the corner before the holy image. I
sat there, you know, with my head bent; I even dozed
a little. Suddenly it seemed as though some one
touched me in the side; I turned round... Good
God! Aleksandra Andreyevna was gazing with intent
eyes at me ... her lips parted, her cheeks seemed
burning. ‘What is it?’ ’Doctor,
shall I die?’ ‘Merciful Heavens!’
’No, doctor, no; please don’t tell me I
shall live ... don’t say so... If you knew...
Listen! for God’s sake don’t conceal my
real position,’ and her breath came so fast.
’If I can know for certain that I must die ...
then I will tell you all— all!’ ‘Aleksandra
Andreyevna, I beg!’ ’Listen; I have not
been asleep at all ... I have been looking at
you a long while... For God’s sake!...
I believe in you; you are a good man, an honest man;
I entreat you by all that is sacred in the world—tell
me the truth! If you knew how important it is
for me... Doctor, for God’s sake tell me...
Am I in danger?’ ’What can I tell you,
Aleksandra Andreyevna, pray?’ ‘For God’s
sake, I beseech you!’ ‘I can’t disguise
from you,’ I say, ’Aleksandra Andreyevna;
you are certainly in danger; but God is merciful.’
‘I shall die, I shall die.’ And it
seemed as though she were pleased; her face grew so
bright; I was alarmed. ’Don’t be
afraid, don’t be afraid! I am not frightened
of death at all.’ She suddenly sat up and
leaned on her elbow. ’Now ... yes, now I
can tell you that I thank you with my whole heart
... that you are kind and good—that I love
you!’ I stare at her, like one possessed; it
was terrible for me, you know. ‘Do you
hear, I love you!’ ’Aleksandra Andreyevna,
how have I deserved—’ ’No, no,
you don’t—you don’t understand
me.’... And suddenly she stretched out her
arms, and taking my head in her hands, she kissed
it... Believe me, I almost screamed aloud...
I threw myself on my knees, and buried my head in the
pillow. She did not speak; her fingers trembled
in my hair; I listen; she is weeping. I began
to soothe her, to assure her... I really don’t
know what I did say to her. ‘You will wake
up the girl,’ I say to her; ‘Aleksandra
Andreyevna, I thank you ... believe me ... calm yourself.’
‘Enough, enough!’ she persisted; ’never
mind all of them; let them wake, then; let them come
in—it does not matter; I am dying, you
see... And what do you fear? why are you afraid?
Lift up your head... Or, perhaps, you don’t
love me; perhaps I am wrong... In that case,
forgive me.’ ’Aleksandra Andreyevna,