and Chinese, I shouldn’t wonder, but we can’t trace its ’istry—­that’s what he said, and if he don’t know, nobody does, for it stands to reason he must be a judge, though nothing to me,—­when I say nothing, I mean all I know of him is that he used to be—­(Tenor Vocalist on Stage.  “My Sweetheart when a Bo-oy!”) I always like that song, don’t you?  Well, and this is what I was wanting to tell you, she got to know what I’d done—­how is more’n I can tell you, but she did, and she come straight in to where I was, and I see in a minute she’d been drinking, for drink she does, from morning to night, but I don’t mind that, and her bonnet all on the back of her head, and her voice that ’usky, she—­(Tenor.  “She sang a Song of Home Sweet Home—­a song that reached my heart!”) And I couldn’t be expected to put up with that, you know, but I haven’t ’alf told you yet—­well, &c., &c.

IN THE RESERVED STALLS.

First Professional Lady, “resting” to Second Ditto (as Miss FLORRIE FOLJAMBE appears on Stage).  New dresses, to-night.

Second Ditto.  Yes. (Inspects Miss F.’s costume.) Something wrong with that boy’s dress in front, though, cut too low.  Is that silver bullion it’s trimmed with?  That silver stuff they put on my pantomime-dress has turned quite yellow!

First Ditto.  It will sometimes.  Did you know any of the critics when you were down at Slagtown for the Panto?

Second Ditto.  I knew the Grimeshire Mercury, and he said most awfully rude things about me in his paper.  I was rather rude to him at rehearsal, but we made it up afterwards.  You know LILY’S married, dear?

First Ditto.  What—­LILY?  You don’t mean it!

Second Ditto.  Oh, yes, she is, though.  She went out to Buenos Ayres, and the other day she was taken in to dinner by the Bishop of the Friendly Isands.

First Ditto.  A Bishop? Fancy! That is getting on, isn’t it?

Miss Foljambe (on Stage, acknowledging an encore).  Ladies and Gentlemen, I am very much obliged for your kind reception this evening, but having been lately laid up with a bad cold, and almost entirely lost my vice, and being still a little ’orse, I feel compelled to ask your kind acceptance of a few ’ornpipe steps, after which I ’ope to remain, Ladies and Gentlemen, always your obedient ’umble servant to command—­FLORRIE FOLIJAMBE!

[Tumultuous applause and hornpipe.

Chairman.  Professor BOODLER, the renowned Imitator of Birds, will appear next!