The last of the long line of parish clerks who occupied the bottom desk of the fine old Jacobean three-decker was Thomas Parkes.  He died in 1884.  The peculiar resonant nasal twang with which he sang out the “Amens” gave rise to a sharp newspaper correspondence in the Wednesbury Observer of 1857.  Another controversy provoked by him was at the opening of the cemetery in 1868, when as vestry clerk he claimed a fee of 9 d. on every interment.  The resistance of the Nonconformists led to an amicable compromise.

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Mr. Wise, of Weekley, the author of several works on Kettering and the neighbourhood, tells me of an extraordinary incident which happened in a Sussex parish church when he was a boy about seventy years ago.  The clerk was a decayed farmer who had a fine voice, but who was noted for his intemperate habits.  He went up as usual to the singers’ gallery just before the sermon and gave out the metrical Psalm.  The Psalm was sung, the sermon commenced, when suddenly from the gallery rose the words of a popular song, given by a splendid tenor voice: 

     “Oh, give my back my Arab steed,
     My Prince defends his right,
     And I will ...”

“Some one, please, remove that drunken man from the gallery,” the clergyman quietly said.  It was afterwards found that some mischievous persons had promised the clerk a gallon of ale if he would sing a song during the sermon.

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Miss Elton, of Bath, tells me of the clerk of Bierton, near Aylesbury, of which her father had sole charge for a time at the end of the forties.  His predecessor had been a Mr. Stephens.  The place had been neglected, and church matters were at a low ebb.  Mr. Elton instituted a service on Saints’ Days, which was quite an innovation at that time, and the first of these was held on St. Stephen’s Day.  The old clerk came into the vestry after the service and said, “I be sorry, sir, to hear the unkid (= awful) tale of poor Mussar (Mister) Stephens.  He be come to a sad end surely.”  He had evidently confounded the first martyr, St. Stephen, with the late curate of the parish, having apparently never heard of the former.

A new vicar had been appointed to a parish about eight miles from Oxford, who had been for many years a Fellow of his college, and in consequence knew little of village folk or parochial matters.  Dr. A. was much disturbed to find that so few of the villagers attended church, and consulted the clerk on the subject, who suggested that it might encourage the people to attend if Dr. A. was to offer to give sixpence a Sunday to all who came to church.  The plan was tried and found to succeed; the congregations improved rapidly, and the church was well filled, to Dr. A.’s satisfaction.  But after a while the numbers fell off, and to Dr. A.’s chagrin people left off attending church.  He again called the clerk into his counsels, and asked what could be the reason of the falling off of the congregation, as he had always given sixpence every Sunday, as he promised, to all who came to the service.  “Well, sir,” said the clerk, “it is like this:  they tells me as how they finds they can’t do it for the money.”