Bordesley Gamaliel,
  Or of the unregenerate Agricultural Minister. 
  Close time?  Fudge!  The Hares were intended at last to perish
  Either by sounding gun or the gaping jaws of the greyhound. 
  Food for the people?  Cant!  The promotion of Sport is the purpose
  Plain of this pestilent Bill, which neutralises the victory
  Won, with much labour, by Me, my gift to the sons of the furrow. 
  DAWNAY talks as though the Hare were a “domiciled animal.” 
  Shows what a deal he knows of Hares—­save the pleasure of killing ’em. 
  Shall I give the nourishing farmers up to this pillage? 
  Nay, sure mine were the hands did most in the storm of the combat,
  Ay, and when peradventure we share the booty amongst us,
  After the General Election, the Tories may find—­but no matter-r-r! 
  Surely a time will come,—­not a “close time” that for the Tories,—­
  I being outraged, then will give them particular pepper!

* * * * *

HEARTHILY WELCOME.

1900 (Somewhere about).—­Introduction into London of new Patent Smokeless Fuel, as experimentally exhibited in 1891 before the Prince of WALES and Empress FREDERICK in York Road, King’s Cross.  A few public-spirited householders insist on their cooks using it in the kitchen.  Cooks of public-spirited householders unanimously give warning.  No quotation of Fuel Company’s shares on Stock Exchange.

1900 (Later).—­Very reforming Parliament just returned.  Use of new Fuel made compulsory.  Fuel shares go up from a nominal 2s. 6d. a share to L437 6s. 8d. at a bound.

1901.—­London already much cleaner.  Only two fogs (white) in whole of last winter.  Consequent intense surprise of old residents, cabmen, link-boys, porters, and pickpockets.

1902.—­Retirement of several individuals, who declare they “liked the good old London fogs,” to Black Country.  Statue in Parian marble of inventor of new Fuel blocks erected on Thames Embankment.

1904.—­Government buys up patent rights of Company, at ruinous sacrifice.  A Minister of Chimneyculture appointed, with Cabinet rank.  Blocks reduced in price, and sold at all Post Offices across the counter.  Postal messengers, on receipt of telephonic orders, bring truckfuls to any address within ten minutes.

1905.—­Green veils come into general use this summer, to keep off glare from white stone houses and other buildings in West-End of London.  Several cases of partial loss of sight from extreme whiteness of dome of St. Paul’s.  Dean ordered (by County Council) to have dome lamp-blacked.  Dean declines.  Vote of thanks to him from resident staff of Ophthalmic Hospital.

1906.—­Owing to surprising and overpowering health of inhabitants (caused by total absence of smoke and fogs), County Council establishes Gymnasia, Rowing Matches, and free public Pugilistic Contests, in order to work off surplus muscular energies of population.