Friday Night.—­When House met at Morning Sitting OLD MORALITY discovered on Treasury Bench, looking more than usually guileless.  Been badgered all week about Labour Committee.  When going to disclose names of Commissioners and set forth terms of reference?  Only yesterday Brer RABBIT put the question, intimating that whenever the announcement was made Adjournment of House would be moved in order to protest against omission of DAVITT’s name.  OLD MORALITY answering, said it was possible he might be able to make the announcement to-day, but much more likely on Monday.

Everyone thought it would be Monday.  Brer RABBIT in his place to-day, but his men absent.  OLD MORALITY, with positively a halo of innocency round his head, suddenly appeared at table; read out the list of Commissioners.  Brer RABBIT’s hand forced; must needs forthwith ask leave to move the Adjournment.

“Got your forty men?” asked the SPEAKER.

“Not quite,” said Brer RABBIT, apologetically.

Only twenty-nine; so Brer RABBIT bowled out, and opportunity lost.

“Dear me!” said OLD MORALITY; “how very unfortunate.  Now if I’d only waited till Monday, House would have been quite full; Brer RABBIT would have got his forty men twice over; we should have had an embarrassing Debate, and lost several hours of the sitting.  As things have turned out, we can now go straight on with business.”

Business done.—­In Committee on Irish Land Bill.

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THE RETURN OF THE WANDERER.—­JOHNNIE has come marching home.  JOHN LAWRENCE TOOLE, of the wide world generally, of London peculiarly, and of King William Street particularly, has returned.  Divine WILLIAMS, always on the spot for any remarkable event, foresaw the happy day when, in Henry the Eighth, Act v., So. 3, he wrote, “The great TOOLE come!” May we venture to surmise that it will not be long ere we see the announcement of our favourite comedian’s appearance in an entirely new and original farce entitled Ici on Parle Francais?

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WHAT’S IN A NAME? (From a Correspondent).—­Sir, I send you a cutting from a communication of J. MORTIMER GRANVILLE’s, to The Lancet, No. 3,527, p. 798.  Which when found make a note of:—­“Instead of thallin I use a Periodohydromethyloxychinolin, because that is better borne, and seems to be more effective than the Tetrahydroparaquinasol.”  These two words would be a good penn’orth in a telegram.  Yours, EPIGRAMMATIST.

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PREMIERE AND DERNIERE, OR SHORTEST RUN ON RECORD.

Dramatic Author (to very friendly critic).  Seen my new piece? eh? Premiere last night.

Very friendly Critic.  Dear me!  “One night only!” Hope they’ve got something ready for this evening. [Exit, chuckling.

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