DR. MACPHERSON.  Probably most professional mediums cheat—­perhaps every one of them; but some of them are capable of real demonstrations at times.

PETER.  Once a swindler, always a swindler.  Besides, why can’t my old friends come straight back to me and say, “Peter Grimm, here I am!” When they do—­if they do—­I shall be the first man to take off my hat to them and hold out my hand in welcome.

DR. MACPHERSON.  You ask me why?  Why can’t a telegram travel on a fence instead of on a wire?  Your friends could come back to you if you could put yourself in a receptive condition; but if you cannot, you must depend upon a medium—­a sensitive.

PETER.  A what? [To CATHERINE.] Something new, eh?  He has all the names for them.  Yesterday it was “apports”—­flowers that fell down from nowhere and hit you on the nose.  He talks like a medium’s parrot.  He has only to close his eyes and along comes the parade.  Spooks!  Spooky spooks!  And now he wants me to settle my worldly affairs and join in the procession.

CATHERINE. [Puzzled.] Settle your worldly affairs?  What do you mean, Uncle Peter?

PETER. [Evasively.] Just some more of his nonsense.  Doctor, you’ve seen a good many cross to the other world; tell me—­did you ever see one of them come back—­one?

DR. MACPHERSON.  No.

PETER. [Sipping his coffee.] Never have, eh?  And never will.  Take another cup of poison, Andrew.

The DOCTOR gives his cup to CATHERINE, who fills it.  PETER passes the waffles to the DOCTOR, at the same time winking at CATHERINE as the DOCTOR takes another.

DR. MACPHERSON.  There was not perhaps the intimate bond between doctor and patients to bring them back.  But in my own family, I have known of a case.

PETER. [Apart to CATHERINE.] He’s off again.

CATHERINE. [Eager to listen.] Please don’t interrupt, Uncle.  I love to hear him tell of—­

DR. MACPHERSON.  I have known of a return such as you mention.  A distant cousin died in London and she was seen almost instantly in New York.

PETER.  She must have travelled on a biplane, Andrew.

DR. MACPHERSON.  If my voice can be heard from San Francisco over the telephone, why cannot a soul with a God-given force behind it dart over the entire universe?  Is Thomas Edison greater than God?

CATHERINE. [Shocked.] Doctor!

DR. MACPHERSON.  And they can’t tuck it all on telepathy.  Telepathy cannot explain the case of a spirit-message giving the contents of a sealed letter known only to the person that died.  Here’s another interesting case.

PETER.  This is better than “Puss in Boots,” isn’t it, Katie?  More—­er—­ flibbertigibberty.  Katie always loved fairy stories.

CATHERINE. [Listening eagerly.] Uncle, please.