You have an assembly then in the house?

O yes, Mame, the assembly is always kept here.—­And, as I was saying, the Colonel should have danced with one of our Alderman’s daughters:—­instead of that, he engag’d a daughter of Esquire Light, and introduced the Major and a handsome Captain to her two sisters.—­Now, to be sure, this was enough to enrage the best Trade’s-People in the place, who can give their young Ladies three times as much as Mr. Light can his daughters.

I saw she was determin’d to finish her harangue, so did not attempt to interrupt her.

One of us chambermaids, Mame, continued she, always assist the waiters;—­it was my turn this evening; so, as I was stirring the fire in the card-room, I could hear the Ladies whisper their partners, if they let strangers stand above them, they might dance with whom they could get for the future.—­They were busy about the matter when the Colonel enter’d with Miss Light, who though she is very handsome, very sensible, and all that, it did not become her to wear a silver silk;—­for what, as our Ladies said, is family without fortune?—­But I am running on with a story of an hour long.—­So Mame, as soon as the Colonel and his partner went into the dancing-room,—­one cry’d, Defend me from French’d hair, if people’s heads are to look like towers;—­another, her gown sleeves were too large;—­a third, the robeings too high;—­a fourth, her ruff too deep:—­in short, Mame, her very shoe-buckles shared the same fate.

This recital put me out of all patience:—­I could not endure to see held up a picture, which, though out of the hands of a dauber, presented a true likeness of human nature in her most deprav’d state.—­Enough, Mrs. Betty, said I, now pray warm my bed; it is late, and I am fatigued.

O! to be sure, Mame; but will you not first hear what was the occasion of the noise?—­The country-dances, continued she, not waiting my reply, began; and our Town’s Gentlemen ran to the top of the room, leaving the Officers to dance at the bottom.—­This put them in so violent a passion, that the Colonel swore, if our Gentlemen persisted in their ill manners, not a soul should dance.—­So, Mame, upon this our Gentlemen let some of the Officers stand above them;—­and there was no dispute till after ten.—­What they quarrelled about then I don’t know;—­but, when I came into the room, they were all going to fight;—­and fight they certainly would, if they could have got our Gentlemen down stairs.—­Not one of them would stir, which made the others so mad, that they would have pulled them down, had not the Ladies interfered.—­Then it was, Mame, I suppose, you heard the cries and shrieks; for every one that had husbands, brothers, or admirers there, took hold of them; begging and praying they would not fight.—­Poor Miss Peggy Turner will have a fine rub; for she always deny’d to her Mamma, that there was any thing in the affair between her and Mr. Grant the Attorney.  Now she has discovered all, by fainting away when he broke from her to go to the other end of the room.