Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 41 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 41 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891.
said, “Mr. JOBSON, permit me to introduce you to our popular young Candidate, Mr. PATTLE.  Mr. PATTLE let me have the honour of introducing you to our popular young undertaker, Mr. JOBSON.”  Gave me rather a shock, but JOBSON seemed quite a pleasant man.  His wife was there too, gorgeously dressed in red plush with an Indian shawl on her shoulders, and a sealskin muff.  She must have felt the heat horribly.

Later in the afternoon there was a political meeting, at which we all spoke, but we had to make it short, as everybody was anxious to get away to the “Refined Musical Melange (with incidental dances) of the Sisters WILKINS,” which was held in a specially erected tent.  Fireworks, illuminations, and dancing, ended the affair.

April 26.—­Was made an Oddfellow to-day.  Initiation didn’t last long.  CHORKLE and JERRAM were initiated with me, and we all had to make speeches afterwards, declaring our devotion to the great cause of Oddfellowship.  Afterwards sentiments were called for.  The only one I remember was given by a man called TABSEY, a tailor, who seems to be rather famous for this kind of thing.  After holding his hand to his head for some time, and knitting his brows, he cleared his throat, and said, in a loud voice,—­“May the tear of true sympathy crystallise as it falls, and be worn as a radiant jewel upon the finger of affliction.”  This was vociferously applauded.  I congratulated TABSEY afterwards, and paid him a compliment about it.  He told me he found it a great relief, after a hard day’s work in the shop, to throw off a sentiment or two.  He’s going to publish a book of them, and I’ve had to subscribe for six copies, at half a guinea each.

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FROM A WATCHFUL OBSERVER.—­SIR,—­The other day I saw advertised in a shop-window, “The Invisible Trouser Stretcher.”  Who wears “Invisible Trousers”?  Do you remember the story of The Emperor of China’s Clothes?—­when they all cried, “He’s got ’em on,” and he hadn’t.  That Invisible Trousers should exist is quite enough stretch of imagination without any further stretcher.—­Yours, THE DAY WATCHMAN.

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MRS. R. AT THE OPERA.—­Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM Junior went to hear La Traviata.  She expressed her sympathy with Violetta, between two Gourmands.  Remarking on the touching finish to the converted Traviata’s career, Mrs. R. observed that it reminded her of the poet’s line about “She who stopped to cough, remained to pray.”

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—­>NOTICE,—­Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper.  To this rule there will be no exception.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.