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AN AGRICULTURAL TRIPOS.

PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION PAPER.

1.  A field is ploughed three years running.  Can it still have a shy at its little go?  Examine this, and say all you know about “PIERS, or PEARS, the Ploughman.”  Did he use his own soap?

2.  How do you extract the square of a Beet-root?  In connection with this, say how much it will take to square a “Swede?”

3.  Explain the use of the “Sewing-machine” for agricultural purposes.  What do you mean by “going against the grain?”

4.  You plant a field of corn.  What plaster do you adopt when it begins to shoot?  Also give the best remedy you know for corn in the ear.

5.  Write a Sentimental History of the Harvest Moon.  Is it really twice as big as any other moon, or does it only look so, after drinking the landlord’s health several times over?

6.  To what gourmet giving a dinner-party in January is attributed the historical saying, “Peas at any price”?

7.  How many black beans will make five white ones?  Given the number, explain the process, and solve the equation.

8.  What pomade do you recommend for “top-dressing”?

9.  What would be an M.P.’s first step towards squaring a circle of Agricultural Voters?

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SAD STORY.—­A painter, who had on several occasions aspired to a place in the Chantrey Collection, and invariably been refused, on being encouraged to launch a fresh venture, and spread his canvas, which would be soon filled, for a sale, replied dejectedly, “Chantrey be blowed; I shan’t try any more!” Poor fellow!  He must indeed have been bad.  He has not been heard of since.  The Serpentine has been dragged.

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THE HANSOM CAB STRIKE!—­Remarkable Conversion!!  Not yet concluded!  Last week another lot of Hansoms became Growlers.

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REPARTEE TO A SPOUSE.

Both parties in the recent extraordinary abduction case, where a Mrs. JONES was carried off down a rope-ladder at midnight by her own husband, Mr. JONES, have published statements defending their own line of conduct.  The following is Mrs. JONES’S version:—­

“As public opinion appears to have erroneously taken my—­so-called—­husband’s side, as far as I can gather from my having been twice chased through the streets by an infuriated mob, and four separate attempts having been made to blow up my house with nitro-glycerine, I feel compelled to explain—­with much reluctance—­why it was that I declined to live with Mr. JONES.