for treason;
They can’t go out, but ef they somehow du,
Their sovereignty don’t noways go out tu;
The State goes out, the sovereignty don’t stir,
But stays to keep the door ajar for her.
He thinks secession never took ’em out,
An’ mebby he’s correc’, but I misdoubt? 270
Ef they warn’t out, then why, ‘n the name o’ sin,
Make all this row ‘bout lettin’ of ’em in?
In law, p’r’aps nut; but there’s a diffurence, ruther,
Betwixt your mother-’n-law an’ real mother,
[Derisive cheers.]
An’ I, for one, shall wish they’d all ben som’eres,
Long ’z U.S. Texes are sech reg’lar comers.
But, O my patience! must we wriggle back
Into th’ ole crooked, pettyfoggin’ track,
When our artil’ry-wheels a road hev cut
Stret to our purpose ef we keep the rut? 280
War’s jes’ dead waste excep’ to wipe the slate
Clean for the cyph’rin’ of some nobler fate.
[Applause.]
Ez for dependin’ on their oaths an’ thet,
’twun’t bind ’em more ‘n the ribbin roun’ my het:
I heared a fable once from Othniel Starns,
That pints it slick ez weathercocks do barns;
Onct on a time the wolves hed certing rights
Inside the fold; they used to sleep there nights,
An’ bein’ cousins o’ the dogs, they took
Their turns et watchin’, reg’lar ez a book; 290
But somehow, when the dogs hed gut asleep,
Their love o’ mutton beat their love o’ sheep,
Till gradilly the shepherds come to see
Things warn’t agoin’ ez they’d ough’ to be;
So they sent off a deacon to remonstrate
Along ‘th the wolves an’ urge ’em to go on straight;
They didn’t seem to set much by the deacon,
Nor preachin’ didn’ cow ’em, nut to speak on;
Fin’ly they swore thet they’d go out an’ stay,
An’ hev their fill o’ mutton every day; 300
Then dogs an’ shepherds, after much hard dammin’,
[Groan from Deac’n G.]
Turned tu an’ give ’em a tormented lammin’,
An’ sez, ’Ye sha’n’t go out, the murrain rot ye,
To keep us wastin’ half our time to watch ye!’
But then the question come, How live together
‘thout losin’ sleep, nor nary yew nor wether?
Now there wuz some dogs (noways wuth their keep)
Thet sheered their cousins’ tastes an’ sheered the sheep;
They sez, ’Be gin’rous, let ’em swear right in,
An’, ef they backslide, let ’em swear ag’in; 310
Jes’ let ’em put on sheep-skins whilst they’re swearin’;
To ask for more ‘ould be beyond all bearin’.’
’Be gin’rous for yourselves, where you’re to pay,
Thet’s the best prectice,’ sez a shepherd gray;
’Ez for their oaths they wun’t be wuth a button,
Long ’z you don’t cure ’em o’ their taste for mutton;
Th’ ain’t but one solid way, howe’er you puzzle:
Tell they’re convarted, let ’em wear a muzzle.’
[Cries of ‘Bully for you!’]
They can’t go out, but ef they somehow du,
Their sovereignty don’t noways go out tu;
The State goes out, the sovereignty don’t stir,
But stays to keep the door ajar for her.
He thinks secession never took ’em out,
An’ mebby he’s correc’, but I misdoubt? 270
Ef they warn’t out, then why, ‘n the name o’ sin,
Make all this row ‘bout lettin’ of ’em in?
In law, p’r’aps nut; but there’s a diffurence, ruther,
Betwixt your mother-’n-law an’ real mother,
[Derisive cheers.]
An’ I, for one, shall wish they’d all ben som’eres,
Long ’z U.S. Texes are sech reg’lar comers.
But, O my patience! must we wriggle back
Into th’ ole crooked, pettyfoggin’ track,
When our artil’ry-wheels a road hev cut
Stret to our purpose ef we keep the rut? 280
War’s jes’ dead waste excep’ to wipe the slate
Clean for the cyph’rin’ of some nobler fate.
[Applause.]
Ez for dependin’ on their oaths an’ thet,
’twun’t bind ’em more ‘n the ribbin roun’ my het:
I heared a fable once from Othniel Starns,
That pints it slick ez weathercocks do barns;
Onct on a time the wolves hed certing rights
Inside the fold; they used to sleep there nights,
An’ bein’ cousins o’ the dogs, they took
Their turns et watchin’, reg’lar ez a book; 290
But somehow, when the dogs hed gut asleep,
Their love o’ mutton beat their love o’ sheep,
Till gradilly the shepherds come to see
Things warn’t agoin’ ez they’d ough’ to be;
So they sent off a deacon to remonstrate
Along ‘th the wolves an’ urge ’em to go on straight;
They didn’t seem to set much by the deacon,
Nor preachin’ didn’ cow ’em, nut to speak on;
Fin’ly they swore thet they’d go out an’ stay,
An’ hev their fill o’ mutton every day; 300
Then dogs an’ shepherds, after much hard dammin’,
[Groan from Deac’n G.]
Turned tu an’ give ’em a tormented lammin’,
An’ sez, ’Ye sha’n’t go out, the murrain rot ye,
To keep us wastin’ half our time to watch ye!’
But then the question come, How live together
‘thout losin’ sleep, nor nary yew nor wether?
Now there wuz some dogs (noways wuth their keep)
Thet sheered their cousins’ tastes an’ sheered the sheep;
They sez, ’Be gin’rous, let ’em swear right in,
An’, ef they backslide, let ’em swear ag’in; 310
Jes’ let ’em put on sheep-skins whilst they’re swearin’;
To ask for more ‘ould be beyond all bearin’.’
’Be gin’rous for yourselves, where you’re to pay,
Thet’s the best prectice,’ sez a shepherd gray;
’Ez for their oaths they wun’t be wuth a button,
Long ’z you don’t cure ’em o’ their taste for mutton;
Th’ ain’t but one solid way, howe’er you puzzle:
Tell they’re convarted, let ’em wear a muzzle.’
[Cries of ‘Bully for you!’]