B.’s exe, ef B.’ll help him grin’ hisn,
(An’ thet’s the main idee by which your leadin’ men hev risen,)—­
Long ‘z you let ary exe be groun’, ’less ‘tis to cut the weasan’
O’ sneaks thet dunno till they’re told wut is an’ wut ain’t Treason,—­
Long ‘z ye give out commissions to a lot o’ peddlin’ drones
Thet trade in whiskey with their men an’ skin ’em to their bones,—­
Long ’z ye sift out ‘safe’ canderdates thet no one ain’t afeared on
Coz they’re so thund’rin’ eminent for bein’ never heard on, 280
An’ hain’t no record, ez it’s called, for folks to pick a hole in,
Ez ef it hurt a man to hev a body with a soul in,
An’ it wuz ostentashun to be showin’ on ’t about,
When half his feller-citizens contrive to du without,—­
Long ’z you suppose your votes can turn biled kebbage into brain,
An’ ary man thet’s pop’lar’s fit to drive a lightnin’-train,—­
Long ’z you believe democracy means I’m ez good ez you be,
An’ that a feller from the ranks can’t be a knave or booby,—­
Long ‘z Congress seems purvided, like yer street-cars an’ yer ’busses,
With ollers room for jes’ one more o’ your spiled-in-bakin’
  cusses, 290
Dough ‘thout the emptins of a soul, an’ yit with means about ’em
(Like essence-peddlers[23]) thet’ll make folks long to be without ’em,
Jes heavy ’nough to turn a scale thet’s doubtfle the wrong way,
An’ make their nat’ral arsenal o’ bein’ nasty pay.—­
Long ‘z them things last, (an’ I don’t see no gret signs of improvin’,)
I sha’n’t up stakes, not hardly yit, nor ‘twouldn’t pay for movin’: 
For, ’fore you lick us, it’ll be the long’st day ever you see. 
Yourn, (ez I ‘xpec’ to be nex’ spring,)
                                       B., MARKISS O’ BIG BOOSY.

No.  IV

A MESSAGE OF JEFF DAVIS IN SECRET SESSION

Conjecturally reported by H. BIGLOW

TO THE EDITORS OF THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY

JAALAM, 10th March, 1862.

GENTLEMEN,—­My leisure has been so entirely occupied with the hitherto fruitless endeavour to decypher the Runick inscription whose fortunate discovery I mentioned in my last communication, that I have not found time to discuss, as I had intended, the great problem of what we are to do with slavery,—­a topick on which the publick mind in this place is at present more than ever agitated.  What my wishes and hopes are I need not say, but for safe conclusions I do not conceive that we are yet in possession of facts enough on which to bottom them with certainty.  Acknowledging the hand of Providence, as I do, in all events, I am sometimes inclined to think that they are wiser than we, and am willing to wait till we have made this continent once more a place where freemen can live in security and honour, before assuming any further responsibility.  This is the view taken