want to ventur’
’Fore I wuz sartin wut come out ud pay for wut went in,
For swappin’ silver off for lead ain’t the sure way to win; 140
(An’, fact, it doos look now ez though—­but folks must live an’ larn—­
We should git lead, an’ more ‘n we want, out o’ the Old Consarn;)
But when I see a man so wise an’ honest ez Buchanan
A-lettin’ us hev all the forts an’ all the arms an’ cannon,
Admittin’ we wuz nat’lly right an’ you wuz nat’lly wrong,
Coz you wuz lab’rin’-folks an’ we wuz wut they call bong-tong,
An’ coz there warn’t no fight in ye more ’n in a mashed potater,
While two o’ us can’t skurcely meet but wut we fight by natur’,
An’ th’ ain’t a bar-room here would pay for openin’ on ’t a night;
Without it giv the priverlege o’ bein’ shot at sight, 150
Which proves we’re Natur’s noblemen, with whom it don’t surprise
The British aristoxy should feel boun’ to sympathize,—­
Seein’ all this, an’ seein’, tu, the thing wuz strikin’ roots
While Uncle Sam sot still in hopes thet some one’d bring his boots,
I thought th’ ole Union’s hoops wuz off, an’ let myself be sucked in
To rise a peg an’ jine the crowd thet went for reconstructin’,—­
Thet is to hev the pardnership under th’ ole name continner
Jest ez it wuz, we drorrin’ pay, you findin’ bone an’ sinner,—­
On’y to put it in the bond, an’ enter ’t in the journals,
Thet you’re the nat’ral rank an’ file, an’ we the nat’ral
  kurnels. 160

Now this I thought a fees’ble plan, thet ’ud work smooth ez grease,
Suitin’ the Nineteenth Century an’ Upper Ten idees,
An’ there I meant to stick, an’ so did most o’ th’ leaders, tu,
Coz we all thought the chance wuz good o’ puttin’ on it thru;
But Jeff he hit upon a way o’ helpin’ on us forrard
By bein’ unannermous,—­a trick you ain’t quite up to, Norrard. 
A Baldin hain’t no more ’f a chance with them new apple-corers
Than folks’s oppersition views aginst the Ringtail Roarers;
They’ll take ’em out on him ’bout east,—­one canter on a rail
Makes a man feel unannermous ez Jonah in the whale:  170
Or ef he’s a slow-moulded cuss thet can’t seem quite t’ ’gree,
He gits the noose by tellergraph upon the nighes’ tree: 
Their mission-work with Afrikins hez put ’em up, thet’s sartin,
To all the mos’ across-lot ways o’ preachin’ an’ convartin’;
I’ll bet my hat th’ ain’t nary priest, nor all on ’em together;
Thet cairs conviction to the min’ like Reveren’ Taranfeather;
Why, he sot up with me one night, an’ labored to sech purpose,
Thet (ez an owl by daylight ‘mongst a flock o’ teazin’ chirpers
Sees clearer ‘n mud the wickedness o’ eatin’ little birds)
I see my error an’ agreed to shen it arterwurds; 180
An’ I should say, (to jedge our folks by facs in my possession,)
Thet three’s Unannermous where one’s a ’Riginal Secession;
So it’s a thing you fellers North may safely bet your chink on,
Thet we’re all water-proofed agin th’ usurpin’ reign o’ Lincoln.