To know my views o’ state affairs, jest answer WOODEN LEG! 
Ef they aint settisfied with thet, an’ kin’ o’ pry an’ doubt 140
An’ ax fer sutthin’ deffynit, jest say ONE EYE PUT OUT!  Thet kin’ o’ talk I guess you’ll find’ll answer to a charm, An’ wen you’re druv tu nigh the wall, hol’ up my missin’ arm; Ef they should nose round fer a pledge, put on a vartoous look An’ tell ’em thet’s precisely wut I never gin nor—­took!

Then you can call me ’Timbertoes,’—­thet’s wut the people likes; Sutthin’ combinin’ morril truth with phrases sech ez strikes; Some say the people’s fond o’ this, or thet, or wut you please,—­ I tell ye wut the people want is jest correct idees; ‘Old Timbertoes,’ you see, ’s a creed it’s safe to be quite bold
  on, 150
There’s nothin’ in ’t the other side can any ways git hold on; It’s a good tangible idee, a sutthin’ to embody Thet valooable class o’ men who look thru brandy-toddy; It gives a Party Platform, tu, jest level with the mind Of all right-thinkin’, honest folks thet mean to go it blind; Then there air other good hooraws to dror on ez you need ’em, Sech ez the ONE-EYED SLARTERER, the BLOODY BIRDOFREDUM:  Them’s wut takes hold o’ folks thet think, ez well ez o’ the masses, An’ makes you sartin o’ the aid o’ good men of all classes.

There’s one thing I’m in doubt about:  in order to be Presidunt, 160
It’s absolutely ne’ssary to be a Southern residunt;
The Constitution settles thet, an’ also thet a feller
Must own a nigger o’ some sort, jet black, or brown, or yeller. 
Now I haint no objections agin particklar climes,
Nor agin ownin’ anythin’ (except the truth sometimes),
But, ez I haint no capital, up there among ye, maybe,
You might raise funds enough fer me to buy a low-priced baby,
An’ then to suit the No’thern folks, who feel obleeged to say
They hate an’ cus the very thing they vote fer every day,
Say you’re assured I go full butt fer Libbaty’s diffusion 170
An’ make the purchis on’y jest to spite the Institootion;—­
But, golly! there’s the currier’s hoss upon the pavement pawin’! 
I’ll be more ’xplicit in my next. 
                              Yourn, BIRDOFREDUM SAWIN.

[We have now a tolerably fair chance of estimating how the balance-sheet stands between our returned volunteer and glory.  Supposing the entries to be set down on both sides of the account in fractional parts of one hundred, we shall arrive at something like the following result:—­

B. SAWIN, Esq., in account with (BLANK) GLORY.