He was gone a long time, and Apollo, meanwhile,
Went over some sonnets of his with a file,
For, of all compositions, he thought that the sonnet
Best repaid all the toil you expended upon it; 380
It should reach with one impulse the end of its course,
And for one final blow collect all of its force;
Not a verse should be salient, but each one should tend
With a wave-like up-gathering to break at the end;
So, condensing the strength here, there smoothing a wry kink,
He was killing the time, when up walked Mr. D——­,
At a few steps behind him, a small man in glasses
Went dodging about, muttering, ‘Murderers! asses!’
From out of his pocket a paper he’d take,
With a proud look of martyrdom tied to its stake, 390
And, reading a squib at himself, he’d say, ’Here I see
’Gainst American letters a bloody conspiracy,
They are all by my personal enemies written;
I must post an anonymous letter to Britain,
And show that this gall is the merest suggestion
Of spite at my zeal on the Copyright question,
For, on this side the water, ’tis prudent to pull
O’er the eyes of the public their national wool,
By accusing of slavish respect to John Bull
All American authors who have more or less 400
Of that anti-American humbug—­success,
While in private we’re always embracing the knees
Of some twopenny editor over the seas,
And licking his critical shoes, for you know ’tis
The whole aim of our lives to get one English notice;
My American puffs I would willingly burn all
(They’re all from one source, monthly, weekly, diurnal)
To get but a kick from a transmarine journal!’

So, culling the gibes of each critical scorner
As if they were plums, and himself were Jack Horner, 410
He came cautiously on, peeping round every corner,
And into each hole where a weasel might pass in,
Expecting the knife of some critic assassin,
Who stabs to the heart with a caricature. 
Not so bad as those daubs of the Sun, to be sure,
Yet done with a dagger-o’-type, whose vile portraits
Disperse all one’s good and condense all one’s poor traits.

Apollo looked up, hearing footsteps approaching,
And slipped out of sight the new rhymes he was broaching,—­
’Good day, Mr. D——­, I’m happy to meet 420
With a scholar so ripe, and a critic so neat,
Who through Grub Street the soul of a gentleman carries;
What news from that suburb of London and Paris
Which latterly makes such shrill claims to monopolize
The credit of being the New World’s metropolis?’

’Why, nothing of consequence, save this attack
On my friend there, behind, by some pitiful hack,
Who thinks every national author a poor one,
That isn’t a copy of something that’s foreign, 429
And assaults the American Dick—­’