They were laid at his door by some ancient Miss Asterisk,
And so dull that the men who retailed them out-doors
Got the ill name of augurs, because they were bores,—­)
First, he mused what the animal substance or herb is
Would induce a mustache, for you know he’s imberbis;
Then he shuddered to think how his youthful position
Was assailed by the age of his son the physician;
At some poems he glanced, had been sent to him lately, 60
And the metre and sentiment puzzled him greatly;
’Mehercle!  I’d make such proceeding felonious,—­
Have they all of them slept in the cave of Trophonius? 
Look well to your seat, ’tis like taking an airing
On a corduroy road, and that out of repairing;
It leads one, ’tis true, through the primitive forest,
Grand natural features, but then one has no rest;
You just catch a glimpse of some ravishing distance,
When a jolt puts the whole of it out of existence,—­
Why not use their ears, if they happen to have any?’ 70
—­Here the laurel leaves murmured the name of poor Daphne.

‘Oh, weep with me, Daphne,’ he sighed, ’for you know it’s
A terrible thing to be pestered with poets! 
But, alas, she is dumb, and the proverb holds good,
She never will cry till she’s out of the wood! 
What wouldn’t I give if I never had known of her? 
’Twere a kind of relief had I something to groan over: 
If I had but some letters of hers, now, to toss over,
I might turn for the nonce a Byronic philosopher,
And bewitch all the flats by bemoaning the loss of her. 80
One needs something tangible, though, to begin on,—­
A loom, as it were, for the fancy to spin on;
What boots all your grist? it can never be ground
Till a breeze makes the arms of the windmill go round;
(Or, if ’tis a water-mill, alter the metaphor,
And say it won’t stir, save the wheel be well wet afore,
Or lug in some stuff about water “so dreamily,”—­
It is not a metaphor, though, ’tis a simile);
A lily, perhaps, would set my mill a-going,
For just at this season, I think, they are blowing. 90
Here, somebody, fetch one; not very far hence
They’re in bloom by the score, ’tis but climbing a fence;
There’s a poet hard by, who does nothing but fill his
Whole garden, from one end to t’other, with lilies;
A very good plan, were it not for satiety,
One longs for a weed here and there, for variety;
Though a weed is no more than a flower in disguise,
Which is seen through at once, if love give a man eyes.’

Now there happened to be among Phoebus’s followers,
A gentleman, one of the omnivorous swallowers, 100
Who bolt every book that comes out of the press,
Without the least question of larger or less,
Whose stomachs are strong at the expense of their head,—­
For reading new books is like eating new bread,
One can bear it at first, but by gradual steps he