Rosmer (scarcely able to get the words out).  It’s no use, REBECCA—­we must put it off till another evening.  We can’t be expected to jump off a footbridge which already has a White Horse on it.  And, if it comes to that, why should we jump at all?  I know now that I really have ennobled you, which was all I wanted.  What would be the good of recovering faith in my mission at the bottom of a mill-pond?  No, REBECCA—­(lays his hand on her head)—­there is no judge over us, and therefore—­

Reb. (interrupting gravely).  We will bind ourselves over in our own recognisances to come up for judgment when called upon.

    [Madam HELSETH holds on to a chair-back, REBECCA finishes
    the antimacassar calmly as Curtain falls.

* * * * *

A GRAND OLD WETTERUN!

I ain’t bin werry well lately, and, to crown the hole, I was cort in the Lizzard, I think, as they called it, on that awful Munday nite, and that was pretty nearly a settler for both my old bones and my breth, and might ha’ bin quite so, if one of the werry kindest Members of the old Copperashun as I nos on, who had bin a dining with a jolly party on ’em, hadn’t kindly directed my notise to about a harf bottle-full of werry fine old Port, with the remarkabel kind words, “That’s just about what you wants, Mr. ROBERT, to take you ome safely this most orful nite!” And so it were, and I didn’t waste a single drop on it.

[Illustration:  The “Tipper’s” Strike.]

However, I was obligated to have a good long rest, which I took out mostly in sleep; but, jest as I was preparing to set out for the “Grand Hotel,” in comes my Son; and he says to me, “Guvnor,” says he—­I notise as he allers calls me Guvnor when he wants me to do sumthink—­“I wants you to do me the favour to ask Mr. Punch for to do you a favour.”  “Why, what do you mean?” says I.  “Why, this is what I means,” says he.  “About the grandest feller as ewer in the hole world gave up fifty years of his useful life to trying to make hundreds of stupid boys into clever boys, and hundreds of bad boys into good boys, and hundreds of dull boys into witty boys, is a going for to have a testymonial given him by sum of them hundreds of boys, me among ’em, to sellybrate his Jewbilly, same as the QUEEN had the other day.  Ewery one of us as lives in London will jump at the chance; but the boys as he turns out from the great City of Lundon Skool is such reel fust-raters, that they gits snapped up direckly by Merchants and peeple, and sent all over the werld for to manidge their warious buzzinesses there, so we don’t know how to get at ’em; but as Mr. Punch goes wherever any smart, clever English chap goes, if he wood most kindly let this littel matter be mentioned, the grandest, and sucksessfullest, ay, and wittiest Skool Master of modern times wood get his dew reward.”