In the business world of New York there was known at that time a pair of brothers; they were in dry-goods.  The firm was new, and they were naturally anxious to extend their trade.  The buyer for a merchant in the far Northwest had placed a small order with the brothers B., which had proved so satisfactory that the merchant coming himself to New York the next fall informed the brothers of his intention of dealing heavily with them.  Of course they were much pleased.  They had received him warmly and had offered him some hospitality, which latter he declined; but as it was late in the day, and as he was an utter stranger to the city, he asked if there was anything going on that would help pass an evening for him; and the elder Mr. B. had instantly answered, Yes; that there was a big success “on” at Daly’s Theatre, right next door to the Fifth Avenue Hotel, at which the stranger was stopping.  And so with thanks and bows, and a smiling promise to be at the store at ten o’clock the next morning, ready for business, the brothers and the Western merchant parted.

I happened to be in the store next morning before ten, and the elder B., who was one of my few acquaintances, was chatting to me of nothing in particular, when I saw such an expression of surprise come into his face, that I turned at once in the direction his glance had taken, and saw a man plunging down the aisle toward us, like an ugly steer.  He looked a cross between a Sabbath-school superintendent and a cattle dealer.  He was six feet tall and very clumsy, and wore the black broadcloth of the church and the cow-hide boots, big hat, and woollen comforter of the cattle man; while his rage was so evident that even organ-grinders and professional beggars fled from his presence.  On he came, stamping and shaking his head steerlike.  One expected every moment to hear him bellow.  When he came up to Mr. B., it really did seem that the man must fall in a fit.  When he could speak, he burst into vituperation and profanity.  He d——­d the city, its founders, and its present occupants.  He d——­d Mr. B., his ancestors, his relatives near and distant, by blood and by law; but he was exceptionally florid when he came to tell Mr. B. how many kinds of a fool he was.

When his breath was literally gone, my unfortunate friend, who had alternately flushed and paled under the attack, said:—­

“Mr. Dash, if you will be good enough to explain what this is all about—­”

“Explain!” howled the enraged man, “explain! in the place where I come from our jokes don’t need to be explained.  You ring-tail gibbering ape, come out here on the sidewalk, and I’ll explain!”

Then he paused an instant, as a new thought came to him.

“Oh, yes,” he cried, “and if I take you out there, to lick some of the fun out of you, one of your constables will jump on to me!  You’re a sweet, polite lot, to play jokes on strangers, and then hide behind your constables!”