As to all that is past, I beg you will never allude to it again, either in speaking or writing, but forget it all—­as I do.

233.

TO FRAU VON STREICHER.

I have been occupied in arranging my papers; an immense amount of patience is required for such an affair as putting them in order, but having once summoned it to our aid we must persevere, or the matter would never be completed.  My papers, both musical and unmusical, are nearly arranged at last; it was like one of the seven labors of Hercules![1]

[Footnote 1:  Ries (in Wegeler’s Notizen) relates:  “Beethoven placed very little value on the MSS. of his pieces written out by himself; when once engraved they were usually scattered about the anteroom, or on the floor in the middle of his apartment, together with other music.  I often arranged his music for him, but the moment Beethoven began to search for any piece, it was all strewed about again.”]

234.

TO FRAU VON STREICHER.

You see what servants are! [He had gone out and taken the key with him.] Such is housekeeping!  So long as I am ill, I would fain be on a different footing with those around me; for dearly as I usually love solitude, it is painful to me now, finding it scarcely possible, while taking baths and medicine, to employ myself as usual,—­to which is added the grievous prospect that I may perhaps never get better.  I place no confidence in my present physician, who at length pronounces my malady to be disease of the lungs.  I will consider about engaging a housekeeper.  If I could only have the faintest hope, in this corrupt Austrian State, of finding an honest person, the arrangement would be easily made; but—­but!! [He wishes to hire a piano and pay for it in advance; the tone to be as loud as possible, to suit his defective hearing.]

Perhaps you do not know, though I have not always had one of your pianos, that since 1809 I have invariably preferred yours.

It is peculiarly hard on me to be a burden on any one, being accustomed rather to serve others than to be served by them.

235.

TO FRAU VON STREICHER.

I can only say that I am better; I thought much of death during the past night, but such thoughts are familiar to me by day also.

236.

TO F. RIES,—­LONDON.

Vienna, July 9, 1817.

MY DEAR FRIEND,—­

The proposals in your esteemed letter of the 9th of June are very flattering, and my reply will show you how much I value them.  Were it not for my unhappy infirmities, which entail both attendance and expense, particularly on a journey to a foreign country, I would unconditionally accept the offer of the Philharmonic Society.  But place yourself in my position, and consider how many more obstacles I have to contend with than any other artist, and then judge whether my demands (which I now annex) are unreasonable.  I beg you will convey my conditions to the Directors of the above Society, namely:—­