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Will you believe that the only way in which in this country they arrive at implicitly believing every word you utter, is by denuding you of all your clothes, so as to get at the naked truth, holding you up by the heels for the purpose of shaking the diamonds out of you, in case any are concealed in your hair, mouth, ears, eyes and so forth.

“He has diamonds on the brain!” I hear some ruffian exclaim, and in another second—­

* * * * *

Well—­what happened I cannot tell you:  I must have fainted.  When I came to myself I was lying by the chair in which I had been previously sitting when listening to the Captain’s reading, and bending over me with a glass of water in his hand, was the faithful and clever Doctor whose companionship on this voyage of discovery I am daily and hourly learning to appreciate at its proper value.  I fancy the ship’s crew were round about me, with the Engineer and the Chaplain.  I feel inclined to say, “HARDY, HARDY, kiss me, HARDY!” and then something about “Tell them at home”—­but the words stick in my throat, as they did in Macbeth’s throat (only they were other words) when he was on his throat-sticking expedition. (Little Shakspearian reference thrown in here, and no extra charge.)

“How many of these has he had?” I hear the Doctor say, and I perceived that he was holding up an empty tumbler.  I should like to explain that, as we were engaged in composition, there had been ’composing draughts.’  I fancy I caught the tone of the Clever Captain’s voice in reply, but the next minute I felt myself being lifted up and carried off.  I wished to tell them of my strange adventure, and how I had barely escaped with my life, but somehow drowsiness overcame me, and I must have fallen asleep.

BUSINESS AS BEFORE.

To-day I sit down to write out this strange story.  Once I asked the Cautious Captain and the Doubting Doctor “if they had seen anything of my pickaxe and the sack of diamonds.”  But they only smiled at one another, elevated their eyebrows, then winked, and laughed.

What is their little game?

No matter.  I will lie low.  My motto is “Diamonds are trumps.”  I’m not here as Aladdin for nothing.  “Aha!” as the old melodramatic villain used to say, “a time will come!  No mattar!”

RATHER CURRIE-OUS!

I don’t know whether it is owing to my voyage in a DONALD CURRIE steamer—­’twas the first opportunity that ever I had of tasting a DONALD CURRIE, and excellent it is, as of course, was all our “board” on board—­(send this joke to WOLFFY—­he’ll work it up and make a real impromptu sparkler of it—­and I don’t grudge him the kudos of it, not one little bit)—­or to the change of air, but I am bound to say openly that I do think the G.O.M. has been right about most things, especially about Majuba (who was Pa JUBA?  Send this to DRUMMY WOLFFY), and—­well, I shall have more to say on this subject.  If this meets the eye of any friendly person, will he kindly remember me to my Uncle?  Thanks.  That’s the ticket.  More anon.