“Why not?” replied the other; “surely we are not going to pull in tweeds?”

“We are not going to pull at all,” explained the leader of the Oxbridge Eight, courteously; “I think we can manage the matter in a more satisfactory fashion.  It was all very well in the Nineties to race in real earnest, but now that we have reached the Twentieth Century our civilisation teaches something better.”

“Certainly!” returned the Camford Stroke; “and I think we had better get at once to business.  Who has the sworn information of our respective coaches?”

“I have,” replied the Hon. Solicitor to the rival Boating Clubs; “and, if you will allow me, I will produce them—­or rather it, for the coaches have affirmed jointly.”

All present bowing acquiescence, the man of law, putting on his spectacles, and opening a brief-bag, produced a document, and read as follows:—­

“It is our opinion that Oxbridge, as the heavier crew, has an advantage over Camford, which is only lessened, and certainly not entirely removed, by the better training of the latter.  Moreover, the steering of the Oxbridge coxwain is infinitely preferable to the steering of his rival.  The times of the various trials, too, have in every instance given a distinct advantage to Oxbridge.  Again, they have a better boat.  So, given fine weather, the result is a foregone conclusion.  Oxbridge must win, although no doubt Camford would make a good fight for it, and come in a respectable second.”

“I suppose we may add, ’barring accidents’?” suggested the Camford Stroke, with rather a forced laugh.

“Sir!” exclaimed the Hon. Solicitor, with some severity.  “In a company of gentlemen like those present, accidents always are barred!”

“Quite so,” admitted the Camford champion, “and I suppose our committee of the latest Senior Wrangler and the youngest Double First have considered what I may call the atmospheric conditions under which the race would have taken place?”

“Yes, Sir, we have, and those conditions are all unfavourable to the success of Camford,” was the ready reply.

“Then I think we have but one more thing to do—­to give three hearty cheers for our opponents.” said the Oxbridge Stroke, and a minute later the rafters rang with loud applause.

“But why shouldn’t we have rowed it out?” asked the gentleman in flannels—­he was a Freshman—­a little later.  “Surely that would have been more satisfactory.”

“Not at all,” was the reply.  “The plan is merely a survival of the fittest!” and his answer afforded general satisfaction.

* * * * *

SHELLEY REVISED.

                        Most rhyming men
  Are cradled into poetry by fashion,
  And learn as formula what they print as passion.

* * * * *

The Development of Africa, by A.S.  WHITE, is advertised.  This is White on Black, and no player in hand.  It should be immediately followed by Black on White, or Who takes the Pool? Exciting match, with one life each.