Title:  Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100, March 21, 1891

Author:  Various

Release Date:  August 24, 2004 [EBook #13269]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK Punch ***

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PUNCH,

Or the London charivari.

Vol. 100.

March 21, 1891.

MY LADY.

  She is not fair to outward view
    As many maidens be;
  (And into such a rage she flew
    On learning this from me;)
  And yet she’s lovely, nay divine,
  Judged by her own peculiar line.

  She’s deeply read.  She knows as much
    As average sixth-form boys;
  But not the greatest sage could touch
    The high, aggressive joys
  That imp her wing, like bird of prey,
  When in my dates I go astray.

  Not only learning’s pure serene
    Her soaring mind can charm;
  The tradesman, shrinking from a scene,
    Regards her with alarm,
  And many a ’bus conductor owns
  The pow’r of her metallic tones.

  Contentiously content, she takes
    Her strident way through life,
  And goodness only knows what makes
    Her choose to be my wife. 
  Courage, poor heart!  Thy yearnings stifle. 
  She’s not a girl with whom to trifle.

* * * * *

Kensington correspondence.

I.

[Illustration]

Instead of the Sub-Kensington Gardens Railway scheme as proposed, why not a Sub-Serpentine Line?  Start it from the South Kensington Station, District-cum-Metropolitan system, run it with one station well-underground in the middle of Exhibition Road, whence an easy ascent to the Imperial Exhibition, when passengers would come up to “carp the vital airs,” then right away again, branching off left and right, thus bringing the mild Southerners into rapid, easy communication, at all reasonable hours, and at reasonable prices, with the rugged denizens of the Northern districts, East and West.  If Kensington Gardens are to be touched at all—­and, not being sacred groves, there is no reason why they should not be, faute de mieux—­a transverse tunnelling from Kensington High Street to Queen’s Road would do the trick.  We will be happy to render any assistance in our power, and are,—­Yours truly,

Will Honeycomb, Mole, ferret & Co.,

(Burrow-Knights.)

II.