At Mabotsa and Chonuane the Livingstones had spent but a little time; Kolobeng may be said to have been the only permanent home they ever had.  During these years several of their children were born, and it was the only considerable period of their lives when both had their children about them.  Looking back afterward on this period, and its manifold occupations, whilst detained in Manyuema, in the year 1870, Dr. Livingstone wrote the following striking words: 

The heart that felt this one regret in looking back to this busy time must have been true indeed to the instincts of a parent.  But Livingstone’s case was no exception to that mysterious law of our life in this world, by which, in so many things, we learn how to correct our errors only after the opportunity is gone.  Of all the crooks in his lot, that which gave him so short an opportunity of securing the affections and moulding the character of his children seems to have been the hardest to bear.  His long detention at Manyuema appears, as we shall see hereafter, to have been spent by him in learning more completely the lesson of submission to the will of God; and the hard trial of separation from his family, entailing on them what seemed irreparable loss, was among the last of his sorrows over which he was able to write the words with which he closes the account of his wife’s death in the Zambesi and its Tributaries,—­“FIAT, DOMINE, VOLUNTUS TUA!”

CHAPTER VI

KOLOBENG continued—­LAKE ’NGAMI.

A.D. 1849-1852.

Kolobeng failing through drought—­Sebituane’s country and the Lake ’Ngami—­Livingstone sets out with Messrs. Oswell and Murray—­Rivers Zouga and Tamanak’le—­Old ideas of the interior revolutionized—­Enthusiasm of Livingstone—­Discovers Lake ’Ngami—­Obliged to return—­Prize from Royal Geographical Society—­Second expedition to the lake, with wife and children—­Children attacked by fever—­Again obliged to return—­Conviction as to healthier spot beyond—­Idea of finding passage to sea either west or east—­Birth and death of a child—­Family visits Kuruman—­Third expedition, again with family—­He hopes to find a new locality—­Perils of the journey—­He reaches Sebituane—­The chiefs illness and death—­Distress of Livingstone—­Mr. Oswell and he go on the Linyanti—­Discovery of the Upper Zambesi—­No locality found for settlement—­More extended journey necessary—­He returns—­Birth of Oswald Livingstone—­Crisis in Livingstone’s life—­His guiding principles—­New plans—­The Makololo begin to practice slave-trade—­New thoughts about commerce—­Letters to Directors—­The Bakwains—­Pros and cons of his new plan—­His unabated missionary zeal—­He goes with his family to the Cape—­His literary activity.