“I would like,” he says in his Journal, “to devote a portion of my life to the discovery of a remedy for that terrible disease, the African fever[37].  I would go into the parts where it prevails most, and try to discover if the natives have a remedy for it.  I must make many inquiries of the river people in this quarter.  What an unspeakable mercy it is to be permitted to engage in this most holy and honorable work!  What an infinity of lots in the world are poor, miserable, and degraded compared with mine!  I might have been a common soldier, a day-laborer, a factory operative, a mechanic, instead of a missionary.  If my faculties had been left to run riot or to waste as those of so many young men, I should now have been used up, a dotard, as many of my school-fellows are.  I am respected by the natives, their kind expressions often make me ashamed, and they are sincere.  So much deference and favor manifested without any effort on my part to secure it comes from the Author of every good gift.  I acknowledge the mercies of the great God with devout and reverential gratitude.”

[Footnote 37:  Livingstone’s Remedy for African fever.  See Appendix No.  II.]

Dr. Livingstone had declined a considerate proposal that another missionary should accompany him, and deliberately resolved to go this great journey alone.  He knew, in fact, that except Mr. Moffat, who was busy with his translation of the Bible, no other missionary would go with him[38].  But in the absence of all to whom he could unburden his spirit, we find him more freely than usual pouring out his feelings in his Journal, and it is but an act of justice to himself that it should be made known how his thoughts were running, with so bold and difficult an undertaking before him: 

[Footnote 38:  Dr. Moffat informs us that Livingstone’s desire for his company was most intense, and that he pressed him in such a way as would have been irresistible, had his going been possible.  But for his employment in translating, Dr. Moffat would have gone with all his heart.]

28th September, 1852.—­Am I on my way to die in Sebituane’s country?  Have I seen the end of my wife and children?  The breaking up of all my connections with earth, leaving this fair and beautiful world, and knowing so little of it?  I am only learning the alphabet of it yet, and entering on an untried state of existence.  Following Him who has entered in before me into the cloud, the veil, the Hades, is a serious prospect.  Do we begin again in our new existence to learn much by experience, or have we full powers?  My soul, whither wilt thou emigrate?  Where wilt thou lodge the first night after leaving this body?  Will an angel soothe thy fluttering, for sadly flurried wilt thou be in entering upon eternity?  Oh! if Jesus speak one word of peace, that will establish in thy breast an everlasting calm!  O Jesus, fill me with Thy love now, and I beseech Thee, accept me, and use me a little for Thy glory.  I have done nothing for Thee yet, and I would like to do something.  O do, do, I beseech Thee, accept me and my service, and take Thou all the glory....”

     “23d January, 1853,—­I think much of my poor children....”