preternatural quickness in picking up “bids.”  Attendants, shaggy men, in soiled shirt-sleeves, with saw-dusty whiskers, and husky voices.  A pleasant-faced Paterfamilias, and his “Good lady,” are discovered inspecting a solidly-built, well-seasoned, age-toned chest of mahogany drawers.

Paterfamilias (sotto voce).  Just what you want, my dear, as far as I can see.  What do you think?

[Illustration]

Materfamilias. I like the look of them much, JOHN.  None of your new, cheap, thinly-veneered, blown-together rubbish, smelling of shavings and French-polish.  Solid ma’ogany, every bit; the drawers run as smoothly as could be wished, and—­see! if there ain’t actually some sprigs of dry lavender still a laying in ’em!

Paterfamilias (decidedly).  Just so, my dear, I shall certainly bid for them. [Marks his catalogue vigorously.

Auctioneer (dropping his hammer smartly).  Sold!  Remove the first-class feather-bed, SAM.  Buyer o’ that has a bargain! (Nodding blandly to pleased purchaser).  Really the prices at which things are going to-night are ruinous!  ’Owever, there’s no reserve, and the lucky public gets the pull.  The next article, Ladies and Gents, No. 471, is a very superior, well-made, fully-seasoned, solid Spanish, ma’ogany chest of drawers.  Chest o’ drawers, SAM! (To Paterfamilias.) Would you mind standing a inch or so aside, Sir?  Thanks!  There they are, Ladies and Gentlemen, open to hinspection, and warranted to bear it.  An unusually excellent lot, fit for the sleeping-apartment of a prince, at a price within the means of a pork-butcher. (Laughter.) Oh, it’s righteous, Gents.  No ’umbug about me.  There’s quality, if you like.  Well worth a ten-pun note.  What shall I have the pleasure of saying for this very superior article?  ‘Ow much for the chest o’ drawers?  Who bids for the ma’ogany chest?  Thirty shillings.  Thank you, Sir!  Any advance on thirty shillings?  Thirty-five! And six!  Thirty-five-and-six for this very desirable little lot!  Worth five times the amount, Ladies, as you know!  What do you think.  Mum? [To Materfamilias, who smiles vaguely, and looks at her husband.

Paterfamilias.  Two pounds! [Feels he has made an impression.

Auctioneer.  Two pounds! (Confidentially to P.) Your good lady knows a good bit o’ stuff when she sees it, Sir!  Two pounds for the chest!  Two pounds!  Any advance on a couple o’ pounds?  All done at two pounds?  Going at two pounds! (Meeting silence, pretends to hear another bid).  Two-pun-ten!  Quite right, Sir!  Very foolish to lose such a superior harticle for a pound or two.  Going at two-pun-ten!  Larst time, two-pun ten!  Going—­going—­g—­

Paterfamilias (hastily).  Two-fifteen!

Auctioneer (cheerily).  Two-fifteen! (Taking other imaginary bids.) Three-pounds!  Three-five! (Thank you, Madam).  Three-ten!  Going at three-ten!  Last time, three-ten! (To Paterfamilias.) Are you going to lose it, Sir? Worth double, I assure you!  Ask your good lady!