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QUERY BY IGNORAMUS.—­From the Times’ “Court Circular,” Feb. 11:—­“The following Ladies and Gentlemen had the honour of receiving invitations, and being received by HER MAJESTY afterwards in the Drawing Room.”  Well, Sir (writes our Correspondent) and where are they usually received?  In the kitchen?  The report doesn’t mention whether it was the front or back Drawing Room.

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[Illustration:  INCONVENIENCE OF MODERN MALE ATTIRE.

First Stranger.  “HERE—­HI!  I WANT A KNIFE AND FORK, PLEASE!”

Second Stranger.  “CON-FOUND YOU—­SO DO I!”]

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ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, February 9.—­The ATTORNEY-GENERAL, with copy of Orders in his hand, casts reproachful, almost angry, glance on the harmless HOWORTH; that great diplomatist just dropped in from Arlington Street; been to see the MARKISS, and give him latest instructions as to conduct of public affairs, more especially with respect to Behring Sea, the Northampton Election, the Newfoundland Fisheries difficulty, and Assisted Education.  A little fatigued with his exertions; doesn’t observe WEBSTER’s woful regard.

[Illustration:  Caustic Causton.]

“If it hadn’t been for him,” ATTORNEY-GENERAL mutters, still glaring on elect of Salford, “shouldn’t have to be down here now, answering these sort of questions.”

No doubt HOWORTH was, though undesignedly, originator of the business.  Saw in incident of Hartlepool election an opening for minimising effect.  Wrapped purpose up in form of question addressed to ATTORNEY-GENERAL.  Question in subtly diplomatic form insinuated against FURNESS charge of breach of Corrupt Practice Act.  ATTORNEY-GENERAL, knowing that HOWORTH is the man who pulls the strings of statecraft, not only in Salford and London, but in Berlin and St. Petersburg, did not venture to decline to answer; gravely played up to his lead.  Opposition laughed and cheered; saw their opening, and have since diligently filled it.  Scarcely day passed since that questions on hypothetical cases, addressed to ATTORNEY-GENERAL, have not appeared on Orders.  As they are moulded on HOWORTH’s, which he answered fully, even genially, difficult to refuse reply.  But there must be a limit to this kind of thing; reached to-day when caustic CAUSTON comes forward with request for gratuitous opinion on case submitted, involving difficult question of eligibility of Catholics for seat on Woolsack.  SUMMERS, who, depressed by Irish domestic difficulty, hasn’t put a question for three weeks, goaded into activity; puts down another on same subject.  Mr. ATTORNEY respectfully declines to answer either.  Opposition yell with derisive cheers.

Mr. ATTORNEY a man of equable temper, but this too much for him.  Must find object of attack somewhere.  Waited till HOWORTH had said adieu to five ladies whom he had been showing round the House.  “Look here, HOWORTH,” said Mr. ATTORNEY, his amiable visage clouded with unwonted wrath, “you content yourself with looking after the MARKISS, and keeping him straight, but don’t you come round me any more with your confoundedly clever questions.”