King of Italy.—­To do without crispi, and the Triple Alliance.

The Emperor of Austria.—­To master the subject of Home Rule as applied to Austria, Hungary, and the Bulgarian Nationalities.

King of Portugal.—­To settle the Map of Africa with Lord Salisbury.

The President of the French Republic.—­To adapt Thermidor for the German stage.

The President of the American Republic.—­To bless the McKinley Tariff.

The Marquis of Salisbury.—­To consider with his son and heir the Roman Catholic Disabilities Removal Bill.

Mr. W.H.  Smith.—­To renew his stock of Copy-book proverbs.

Mr. Gladstone.—­To compile and annotate a new volume of Gleanings, containing the Quarterly Article on “Vaticanism,” and the speech in support of the Ripon-plus-Russell Relief Bill.

Mr. Goschen.—­To divide the coming Surplus to everyone’s satisfaction.

Mr. Balfour.—­To learn to love both wings of the Irish Party.

Mr. Justin McCarthy.—­To discover his exact position.

Mr. S.B.  Bancroft.—­To regard with satisfaction his gift to General Dealer BOOTH.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  JUNIUS JUDEX.

A Pindaric Fragment. (A long way after Gray.)]

Awake, O Themis-twangled lyre, awake,
And give to paeans all thy sounding strings! 
Here is a triumph joyfuller than Spring’s. 
JEUNE smacks of Summer rather, and must take
The cake! 
As frescoed heroes cloud-borne progress make,
So—­happy apotheosis!—­advances
Stately Sir FRANCIS! 
See how late-knighted Justice moves along,
High, majestic, smooth and strong,
Through Cupid’s maze and Neptune’s mighty main
(O Wimpole Street, uplift the strain!)
Toward that proudly portal’d door. 
Silk gowns and snowy wigs raise the applausive roar! 
O Sovereign of the Social Soul,
Lady of bland and comfort—­breathing airs,
Enchanting hostess!  Business cares
And Party passion own thy soft control,
In thy saloons the Lord of War
Muffles the wheels of his wild car,
And drops his thirsty lance at thy command. 
Smoothed by a snowy hand,
Aquila’s self, the fierce and feathered king,
With sleek-pruned plumes, and close-furled wing
Will calmly cackle, and put by
The terrors of his beak, the lightnings of his eye. 
Thine the voice, the dance obey;
Tempered to thy pleasant sway,
Blue and Buff, Orange and Green,
In polychromatic harmony are seen,
As on a bright Jeune day. 
And now JEUNE triumphs in no minor measure. 
Judicial Pomp and Social Pleasure
Now indeed make marvellous meeting. 
See with suasion firmly sweet
That brisk trio, gaily greeting
To that portal guide his feet. 
Neptune’s hoarse hails his friend’s approach declare,
Probate, the winged sprite, about must play;
With wanton wings that winnow the soft air
In gliding state Lord Cupid leads the way
To where grave Law must mark, assay, reprove
Wanderings of young Desire, and lures of fickle Love!