* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE “PAPER-CHASE.”

RIGHT HON.  GEO. J. G-SCH-N (the Hare).  “WONDER WHETHER THEY’LL
FOLLOW?”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE OYSTERS AT WHITSTABLE FROZEN IN THEIR BEDS!

(See Daily Papers.)]

* * * * *

THE OLD WOMAN AND HER WATER SUPPLY.

(AN OLD NURSERY RHYME WITH A NEW BURDEN.)

  There was an old Woman, as I’ve heard say,
  The frost froze her water-pipes fast one day;
  The frost froze her water-pipes fast at first,
  Till a thaw came at last, and the water-pipes burst. 
  By came the Company, greedy of gain,
  And it cut her water all off at the main,
  It cut her water off sharp, if you please,
  Though it wasn’t her fault that the pipes began to freeze. 
  It wasn’t her fault that the water-pipes burst. 
  So she had no water for cleansing or thirst,
  She had no water, and she began to cry,
  “Oh, what a cruel buzzum has a Water Company
  But I’ll repair the pipes, since so it must be,
  And the plumber, I’m aware, will make pickings out of me. 
  If there’s a frost I’ve no water for my pail,
  And if there’s a thaw then the rate-collectors rail.” 
  On Law the old Woman is entirely in the dark;
  There seems no one to save her from the fresh-water shark;
  The shark does what he likes, and she can only cry,
  “Who’ll help a poor old Woman ’gainst the Water Company?”

* * * * *

MOI-MEM.

“Moi-Meme,” in the course of his pleasant Worldly wanderings among things in general, observes, a propos of the younger COQUELIN’s suggestion about lectures by professors of the Dramatic Art to youthful students, “One can scarcely fancy a more humorous sight than Mr. TOOLE giving a professional lecture to dramatic aspirants, telling them when to wink, when to wheeze, when to ‘’scuse his glove,’” &c.  Now it so happens that when this same idea was first started—­or perhaps revived—­some eleven years ago, Professor TOOLE’s Lecture to Students of the Dramatic Art was given in Mr. Punch’s pages.  The lecture, one of a series supposed to be given by various actors, will be found in Vol.  LXXVIII., page 93.  It appeared on the 28th of February, 1880.

* * * * *

NOTE BY A NOMAD.

  SMITH, of Coalville, imagines that Civilised Man
  Falls too much to the rear if he lives in a Van;
  But Caravan-dwellers, with force and urbanity,
  Declare that SMITH’s views of Van life are pure vanity!

* * * * *

THE HIGHEST EDUCATION;

OR, WHAT IS LOOMING A-HEAD.