“Your Majesty,” he panted, “a revolution has broken out.  The populace has erected barricades, the deposition of your House has been declared, and a Republic proclaimed.  The mob is now marching to the Palace.”

The King drew himself up to his full height.  Where are my Golf-clubs? he asked in a calm voice.

“Your Majesty, they have been seized and secreted.”

“Then all is lost.  It only remains for me to depart,” was the King’s heartbroken reply.  “I will, in person, announce my resignation.”  “I resign!” shouted the King, appearing on a balcony overlooking the court-yard.  Deafening cheers greeted this announcement.  “Bless you, my children!” sobbed the King—­“I am off to the station.  Take care of my poodle, and my pet parrot.”

At this the mob unanimously burst into tears.  They insisted on accompanying the deposed monarch to the station, the popular band playing “The Dead March in Saul.”  But the King remained calm, and marched on without swerving.  At the station he took his seat silently in the Royal Balloon, a whistle was heard, and the car floated off into space.

“I cannot say I think much of all that,” said Mr. Punch.  “In our part of the Universe we generally manage to get a little more bloodshed out of it.”

* * * * *

VISIT TO URANUS.

The next place that the distinguished travellers visited was Uranus, where Mr. Punch and his companion were much surprised to find the entire population members of the legal profession.

[Illustration]

“I have really no time to attend to you,” said one of the inhabitants, when questioned.  “I have an appointment before a Chief Clerk in Chancery of great importance—­it is to decide whether some children shall be sent to school with money left to them by their grandfather, or if it shall be saved up until they come of age?  It would be better for the children that they should be educated, from a layman’s point of view; but, then, this is a matter of law and not expediency.”

“And how will it go?”

“Oh, of course, against the children.  I am their father, and appear for them.  But the application is a good thing, although it’s sure to be unsuccessful—­good for them, and good for me.”

“But how can that be?”

“You are really very dense,” said the Inhabitant of Uranus.  “Haven’t you noticed that the entire population is concerned in one vast Chancery suit; consequently, on attaining majority, one man becomes a judge, another a barrister, a third a solicitor, and so on, and so on.  Why, the place would be a perfect Paradise to your friend Mr. A. BRIEFLESS JUNIOR!  It is, at this time of day, to the interest of no one that litigation should cease, and so the Chancery suit, in which we are all concerned, is likely to go on for ever.”

“But, surely litigation is expensive?” suggested Mr. Punch.