“Leave me!” said I, “You cruel monster of beauty!  Leave when I am sealed to you?”

(That kinder frightened her—­I learned suthin’ from bein’ among the Mormons.)

“You may foller me,” said she, while descendin’ in the midst of a garden which opened rite before us.  I did as she advised, and stepped rite down in a place where there was a mighty display of trees, flowers, and fountains, and a pretty big sprinklin’ of people.

Good Heavens! thought I. Is this the New Jerusalem? and lookin’ around timidly for the man with the key, fearin’ I might be turned out, but seein’ nothin’ but common lookin’ men and women, and no “flamin’ cherubim,” and creaters with wings stuck on their heads, and no bodies, such as I had naterally expected to find in such a place, I took courage and stept forward boldly.

The people all commenced cryin’ out as loud as they could: 

“Artemus Ward!  Artemus Ward!”

I felt kinder abashed at this, but advanced and called out, “Hear! hear!  Friends, it’s an amazin’ mystery how you know’d my name.” (I felt diffident at not havin’ my lecter in my pocket, and not bein’ accustomed to speakin’ verbatim.) Howsumever, as they continooed to clap their hands and shout, I got together all the brass I used to carry “down East,” and jumped right atop of one of the roarin’ fountains—­the very biggest on ‘em all.  I surmised it was kinder dangerous, havin’ always experienced a religious awe of the “water of life,” and not knowin’ but what this might be it.  “Here goes,” said I; “faint heart never won fair lady,” for rite at the foot was that bootiful poetess to whom allusion has been made, lookin’ straight at me with all her eyes.

I wanted to make a grand impression and let ’em know that I cum from a nation that could fight for the Constitution, and wasn’t afeard of spirits.  And as for the “gold and pearls,” the “jasper and the sardonix,” they needn’t expect to snub me off with this, for I had been all through the gold and silver regions of Ameriky, and could tell as big a story as any on ’em.

“The fact is, friends and nabors,” said I, “it is one thing to read of a place, and another to see it.  Now I must say, that geography and book of travels called the ‘Bible’ is suthin’ like ‘Gulliver’s Travels,’ rather loose in description; and, for all I see around me, the grand nation of Ameriky can beat you all holler in wonders.”

Havin’ thus spoken a good word for my country, I dismissed them, and hurried back to commence these lecters, which is only a beginnin’ of what I intend to do for the Amerikan People.

LADY BLESSINGTON.

DISTINGUISHED WOMEN.

It is remarkable to what a degree woman develops her intellect in the spirit world.

Freed from the cares of maternity, she seems like some young goddess fresh from the hand of Jupiter.  All nerve, electricity, and motion—­her thoughts sparkling and full of flavor, and light, and life, this new-born Eve of the celestial kingdom inspires the down-trodden Eve of earth, and kindles to a blaze the whole male population of the spiritual globe.