For the rest, it is said,
And I know I have read
In some Chronicle—­whose, has gone out of my head—­

That what with these candles, and other expenses,
Which no man would go to if quite in his senses,
He reduced and brought low
His property so,
That at last he’d not much of it left to bestow;
And that many years after that terrible feast,
Sir Guy, in the Abbey, was living a priest;
And there, in one thousand and—–­something—­deceased. 
(It’s supposed by this trick
He bamboozled Old Nick,
And slipped through his fingers remarkably “slick.”)
While as to young Curly-wig,—­dear little Soul,
Would you know more of him, you must look at “The Roll,”
Which records the dispute,
And the subsequent suit,
Commenced in “Thirteen sev’nty-five,”—­which took root
In Le Grosvenor’s assuming the arms Le Scroope swore
That none but his ancestors, ever before,
In foray, joust, battle, or tournament wore,
To wit, “On a Prussian-blue Field, a Bend Or;”
While the Grosvenor averred that his ancestors bore
The same, and Scroope lied like a—­somebody tore
Off the simile,—­so I can tell you no more,
Till some A double S shall the fragment restore.

MORAL

This Legend sound maxims exemplifies—­e.g.

1_mo._ Should anything tease you,
Annoy, or displease you,
Remember what Lilly says, “Animum rege!”
And as for that shocking bad habit of swearing,—­
In all good society voted past bearing,—­
Eschew it! and leave it to dustmen and mobs,
Nor commit yourself much beyond “Zooks!” or “Odsbobs!”

  2_do._ When asked out to dine by a Person of Quality,
      Mind, and observe the most strict punctuality! 
                For should you come late,
                And make dinner wait,
      And the victuals get cold, you’ll incur, sure as fate,
      The Master’s displeasure, the Mistress’s hate. 
    And though both may perhaps be too well-bred to swear,
      They’ll heartily wish you—­I will not say Where.

  3_tio._ Look well to your Maid-servants!—­say you expect them
          To see to the children, and not to neglect them! 
          And if you’re a widower, just throw a cursory
          Glance in, at times, when you go near the Nursery. 
          Perhaps it’s as well to keep children from plums,
          And from pears in the season,—­and sucking their thumbs!

4_to._ To sum up the whole with a “saw” of much use,
Be just and be generous,—­don’t be profuse!—­
Pay the debts that you owe, keep your word to your friends,
But—­DON’T SET YOUR CANDLES ALIGHT AT BOTH ENDS!!—­
For of this be assured, if you “go it” too fast,
You’ll be “dished” like Sir Guy,
And like him, perhaps, die
A poor, old, half-starved Country Parson at last!