I hear the violoncello, (’tis the young man’s
heart’s complaint,)
I hear the key’d cornet, it glides quickly in
through my ears,
It shakes mad-sweet pangs through my belly and breast.
I hear the chorus, it is a grand opera,
Ah this indeed is music—this suits me.
A tenor large and fresh as the creation fills me,
The orbic flex of his mouth is pouring and filling
me full.
I hear the train’d soprano (what work with hers
is this?)
The orchestra whirls me wider than Uranus flies,
It wrenches such ardors from me I did not know I possess’d
them,
It sails me, I dab with bare feet, they are lick’d
by the indolent waves,
I am cut by bitter and angry hail, I lose my breath,
Steep’d amid honey’d morphine, my windpipe
throttled in fakes of death,
At length let up again to feel the puzzle of puzzles,
And that we call Being.
27
To be in any form, what is that?
(Round and round we go, all of us, and ever come back
thither,)
If nothing lay more develop’d the quahaug in
its callous shell were enough.
Mine is no callous shell,
I have instant conductors all over me whether I pass
or stop,
They seize every object and lead it harmlessly through
me.
I merely stir, press, feel with my fingers, and am
happy,
To touch my person to some one else’s is about
as much as I can stand.
28
Is this then a touch? quivering me to a new identity,
Flames and ether making a rush for my veins,
Treacherous tip of me reaching and crowding to help
them,
My flesh and blood playing out lightning to strike
what is hardly
different from myself,
On all sides prurient provokers stiffening my limbs,
Straining the udder of my heart for its withheld drip,
Behaving licentious toward me, taking no denial,
Depriving me of my best as for a purpose,
Unbuttoning my clothes, holding me by the bare waist,
Deluding my confusion with the calm of the sunlight
and pasture-fields, Immodestly sliding the fellow-senses
away, They bribed to swap off with touch and go and
graze at the edges of me, No consideration, no regard
for my draining strength or my anger, Fetching the
rest of the herd around to enjoy them a while, Then
all uniting to stand on a headland and worry me.
The sentries desert every other part of me,
They have left me helpless to a red marauder,
They all come to the headland to witness and assist
against me.
I am given up by traitors,
I talk wildly, I have lost my wits, I and nobody else
am the
greatest traitor,
I went myself first to the headland, my own hands
carried me there.
You villain touch! what are you doing? my breath is
tight in its throat,
Unclench your floodgates, you are too much for me.
29 Blind loving wrestling touch, sheath’d hooded sharp-tooth’d touch! Did it make you ache so, leaving me?
Parting track’d by arriving, perpetual payment
of perpetual loan,
Rich showering rain, and recompense richer afterward.